Space Firm To Make Big Announcement. Somewhere in his lair, Michael Bay just coughed up blood and doesn’t know why.

The interwebs are all a-twitter (no pun intended… except it was totally intended) with excitement and speculation after a new company called Planetary Resources dropped a press release about an upcoming space venture that will ensure humanity’s continuing prosperity. They’re backed by a whole mess of people with deep pockets — Google and James Cameron, to name a few — and are going to lay down their proposal on April 24th.

Now, the press release itself is incredibly vague, and I’m guessing that was deliberate, but what can you expect from people who worked for the organization that told us Pluto was a planet and then went “Our bad. Might want to start thinking about some new mnemonic devices.”

Hit the jump to read the press release.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

April 18, 2012

*** Media Alert *** Media Alert *** Media Alert ***

Space Exploration Company  to Expand  Earth’s Resource Base

WHAT:                         Join visionary  Peter H. Diamandis, M.D.; leading commercial space entrepreneurEric Anderson; former NASA Mars mission manager  Chris Lewicki; and planetary scientist & veteran NASA astronaut  Tom Jones, Ph.D. on Tuesday, April 24 at 10:30 a.m. PDT in Seattle, or via webcast, as they unveil a new space venture with a mission to help ensure humanity’s prosperity.

Supported by an impressive investor and advisor group, including  Google’s  Larry Page  &  Eric Schmidt, Ph.D.; film maker & explorer  James Cameron; Chairman of Intentional Software Corporation and Microsoft’s former Chief Software Architect  Charles Simonyi, Ph.D.; Founder of Sherpalo and Google Board of Directors founding member  K. Ram Shriram; and  Chairman of Hillwood  and The Perot Group  Ross Perot, Jr., the company will overlay two critical sectors — space exploration and natural resources — to add trillions of dollars to the global GDP. This innovative start-up will create a new industry and a new definition of ‘natural resources’.

The news conference will be held at the Museum of Flight in Seattle on Tuesday, April 24 at 10:30 a.m. PDT and available online via webcast.

WHEN:                        Tuesday, April 24

10:30 a.m. PDT

WHO:                              Charles Simonyi, Ph.D., Space Tourist, Planetary Resources, Inc. Investor

Eric Anderson, Co-Founder & Co-Chairman, Planetary Resources, Inc.

Peter H. Diamandis, M.D.,  Co-Founder & Co-Chairman, Planetary Resources, Inc.

Chris Lewicki, President  & Chief Engineer, Planetary Resources, Inc.

Tom Jones, Ph.D., Planetary Scientist, Veteran NASA Astronaut & Planetary Resources, Inc. Advisor

WHERE:                      Charles Simonyi Space Gallery at The Museum of Flight

9404 East Marginal Way South

Seattle, WA 98108

Event will also be streamed online.

Now, I don’t know about you, but it sounds like asteroid mining. While I’m all for space exploration and developing a physical presence beyond the planet, I’m not entirely sure how getting shit from asteroids is going to be any different than getting shit from the Earth’s soil. Or how it’s going to help us replenish our oil stores. Or stop population growth (People, stop fucking!).

Plus, I’ve already seen this movie, so I can tell you how this mission is going to go: Bruce Willis dies.