Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer Being Called To Step Down!, Sweaty Pants No!

Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer is the source of one of the scariest and most amazing conferences ever. You know the one. Where he’s screaming and running around and he gets really sweaty and I’m sure the people in the audience brown-coated their panty liners a bit. Now a major hedge fund player  David Einhorn wants to take this gem away from us. Einhorn thinks it’s time for Stevey to throw the deuces up and leave his position.


Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer needs to be kicked out, a well-known hedge fund investor said Wednesday.

David Einhorn, manager of Greenlight Capital, said Ballmer is stuck in the past and needs to give someone else a chance. “[Ballmer’s] continued presence is the biggest overhang on Microsoft’s stock,” Einhorn said at the Ira Sohn Investment Research Conference in New York.

Chief among Einhorn’s concerns are that Microsoft is missing opportunities to better compete with Apple products like the iPad. He also said he is unhappy with some of Microsoft’s acquisitions over the years.

Greenlight Capital currently holds 9 million shares of Microsoft stock, which amounts to 0.11 percent of company shares. Comparably, Ballmer owns 333 million shares or 3.95 percent. Former CEO Bill Gates owns more than 560 million shares or 6.65 percent.

All that noise is over my head. The most pressing concern to me, of course, is if Ballmer leaves who is going to run around and act like a beautiful meth addict? Who? Fucking tell me!