Sucker Punch Is A Musical! Boneheads’ Boners Shrink.

Everything about Zack Snyder’s forthcoming Sucker Punch has been marketed to the permanently adolescent juvenile boner brigade. Everything. This is a movie that is playing on dudes’ most basic desires to see chicks kick ass in skimpy skirts in environments and scenarios rendered from their comic book and video game infested brains. This marketing has worked on me. Worked well. What blew my mind today was something that the marketing has gone to great lengths to not mention. Sucker Punch has musical numbers. It looks like every dude with arrested development should buckle up, because this movie could very well be Glee for Dudes With Stained Undies.

The news was pointed out by site friend Eduardo Pluto, an intrepid reporter and overall great Dwarf Planet. He pointed me in the direction of an article over at Bad Ass Digest.

I realized how much time I spent on set trying to get to the heart of the fact that this movie isn’t just a crazy fantasy science fiction martial arts war film female empowerment movie, it’s a fucking musical.

Folks on set were circumspect about this aspect, and nobody would divulge what the songs in the movie were (they were still trying to secure them legally), but this is a film that has song and dance numbers.

Fucking outstanding. You won’t see any mention of this in the marketing, because I imagine the majority of the people who want to see chicks swinging katanas are going to find their blood-filled gadgets excessively deflated in the light of a bunch of musical numbers.

I should also add that this doesn’t do anything to mitigate my interest in the movie. In fact, the movie’s absurdity just got ratcheted up a notch, and that’s only a good thing. You see, there’s no way I was ever going to take this movie seriously. It’s the result of too much caffeine and objectification, birthed out of a uterus that was cobbled together by splash pages and boss fights. The less serious this movie takes itself, the better.

With that in mind, I’m still curious to see what the reaction of the general meathead perma-boner dude is to this news. I don’t think they’re all like me. You know, tearing up at Wicked and watching Glee with his girlfriend. I would wager this same anxiety is shared by the marketing crew, who has buried this facet of the movie under a thousand clips of bare midrifts and machine gun fire.