Monday Morning Commute: A Holiday Special On Ennui!

monday morning commute a holiday special on ennui

How’s it going, folks? Are you segueing into Corpulence Season well? You must prepare to fulfill your duty as a member of the Empire!

Consumption! Things! Stuff! Food! Consumption! Consumption! Consumption!

Hail, Hail, Hail!

Toe the line! Nay, stand in line! You must be checking out mentally while checking out virtually, physically! The form doesn’t matter, only the consumption! The filling and emptying of stomachs, shopping carts, bank accounts, guts, shelves, savings.

Consumption! Things! Stuff! Food! Consumption! Consumption! Consumption!

That’s a negative spin on the whole ordeal, isn’t it?

It is, it is. I exaggerate, I exaggerate. I’m a bit cynical today. One of my students told me I was venting as I went off on the themes of  a text we’re reading. They weren’t wrong.

Truth be told, truth be revealed, I love this time of year.

I love the gatherings of friends, the gathering of families, and the shared revelry. I’m lucky that way, dare I say I’m blessed. For all the chemical imbalances (they’re legion, they’re powerful!) and traumatic memories (they’re legion, they’re powerful) contained within my family, I still love ’em. Enjoy ’em. Feel lucky to have them.

Truth be told, truth be revealed, I think I’m just struggling with what is reflected in these family gatherings as of late.

The age and the rot and the dust in the bones of my family.

There ain’t been a new kid in years. But, oh baby, have there been funerals. I felt it first this past summer when the various strands of the family web gathered in Nova Scotia for my Nana’s funeral. Looking around the kitchen and living room and the dining room and just drinking in the sagging skin. Wearying bones. There wasn’t a pall, per say. But, there certainly wasn’t the fucking vivacity that childhood, or adolescence, or  even young adulthood brings to a family gathering.

Why, in fact, I’m heading down to Connecticut tonight for another funeral. My father’s sister passed away, and well, it’s time to don that wedding-funeral-wedding-funeral suit and stare at another depowered meat-case.

Another branch off the family tree. Doesn’t seem like ain’t anymore popping up, but they sure do seem to be dropping. Another subtraction from the number of family members whose surname I bear. The whole thing smacks of closing walls. The whole thing smacks of  finality. Ain’t enough to get me to have a kid, it seems. Ain’t enough to get me to have a kid, but it definitely makes me aware of the fact that I haven’t had one.

The age and the rot and the dust in the bones of my family.

I wouldn’t say I’m burdened, but I would say the whole thing is on my mind.

I wouldn’t say I’m tortured, but I would say I’m a bit daunted by the whole thing.

So, uh. Yeah! That’s me! I promise I’m not as down as I sound.

So, uh. Yeah! That’s me. I promise I’m going to have a good Thanksgiving.

I hope you do too.

This right here, down below, this is Monday Morning Commute. I’m about to drop on your ass the various things I’m looking forward to this week. I hope you’ll share your collection of happenings in the comments section.

—-

Preparing:

My mother-in-law’s arrival.

—-

Purchasing:

A Christmas tree on Friday! I hope!

—-

Suffering:

Justice League. Seeing it late Wednesday evening. Wish me luck.

—-

Missing:

Watch Dogs 2. What a good game. I’m reminded of it because it dropped around this time last year.

—-

Anticipating:

Thanksgiving! Food! Football! Family!

—-

Mourning:

Got that funeral to attend!

—-

Loving:

Mob Psycho 100!

—-

Listening: Waka Flocka Flame

Yeah, I have no idea why I’m listening to this shit.

—-

Completing:

Wolfenstein 2. Okay, so I did complete it. But it was so good.

—-

Consuming:

Way, way, way too many Pop-Tarts.

—-

Playing:

Horizon: Zero Dawn’s expansion, the Frozen Wilds. I think. I don’t want to start it. Because I don’t want it to be over.

Counting:

Man, we lass than a month out from The Last Jedi. The hype is beginning to seep into me.

—-

That’s it for me, folks! A happy Thanksgiving, and a beseeching. Tell me, what are you up to this holiday week?