Vladimir Putin hires BOYZ II MEN to try and promote RUSSIAN BABY MAKING. I’m srs.
Vladimir Putin is smart. He knows that Russia’s declining birth rates could only be solved through the most austere of measures. That’s right, through the power of Boyz II Men’s melodious tunes upon a concert stage.
I Heart Chaos:
Russia’s birth rate has been in decline for years and years, something that has been a trend in Europe and America. But in Russia it’s turned into a crisis, so in addition to giving couples $9000 for every kid after the second, Putin has decided to bring in the big guns— paying to have Boyz II Men in Moscow in the hopes it will put Russians in a romantic mood.
Russia’s birth rate has been climbing in recent years, but only after Putin made a hard push to get the motherland knocking boots again. After years of low fertility, which had actually reached crisis status in the country, Putin instituted a cash bonus of about $9,000 for second (and beyond) births in 2007. From 2007 to 2010, that program pushed fertility rates up almost 20 percent.
Boyz II Men, whose 1994 album II sold more than 12 million copies and was probably released in Russia the other day, are melodically responsible for between 15 and 20 million births in the United States over the course of their 20-year careers (estimate may be inexact). So it makes sense that Putin, man of many action hero poses, would enlist them to give the country’s baby manufacturing a shot in the arm.
The band’s February 6th performance is part of a world tour, but specifically requested by Putin to help with Valentine’s Day-related romance. So basically, expect Moscow’s population to double some time around the middle of November.