Monday Morning Commute: Jane Austen And I Fucking Fight
Hello everyone! How was your weekend? Oh, it was splendid? I’m glad to hear it! Oh, you spent all weekend at PAXEAST while I started jealously at all the coverage from Kotaku and shit? Yeah, I’m going to shin you, boy! Or girl! Boygirl! Your shins are mine for the taking. I’m about to rock your shins with the fury of a man possessed with jealousy and contempt! But mostly jealously.
I spent my weekend watching sports and eating crappy food. It was actually a great way to spend a weekend. The Ms. Caffeine Powered and myself sat around in our pajamas all day on Saturday, watching something like six hours of sports. We feasted on bacon and chocolate chip cookies, and while she still remains beautiful, I’m going to hate the fuck out of myself today if I’m daring enough to look in the mirror. Then a cadre of friends came over, and we watched GSP look sexy. Or maybe fight. But mostly we were staring at his thighs.
Sunday was Sunday. Accentuated by waking up way the fuck late, and then not really doing much.
Monday Morning Commute. Every Monday I’m going to detail the various things I’m either currently or will be watching, reading, playing, and listening to in the next seven days. It’s Monday. You’ve got a long week of school, work, or compulsive masturbation to get through. Tell me the arts that you’re indulging in, to stave off suicide.
Reading / Persuasion, Jane Austen
Yes, I’m reading this for a class. And I was expecting it to be terrible. But I like it? WHAT THE FUCK? I cracked this son of a bitch open last night, expecting to trudge through the 200+ pages in agony. And while there were countless things I would rather have been doing – masturbating, playing Mass Effect 2 [again], writing for this palace of debauchery – I actually dug it. I think it’s because I’m a big time romantic.
No, like really. I may be vulgar, but I also pine for swirling romance and shit. I mean, isn’t that the stereotypical writer archetype? Even Duchovny in Californication is just another romantic. I don’t really know where the story is going, because I’m only a hundred pages in, but already, my heart pines for Anne! Oh, how she’s troubled and deeply in love with Sir Walter Elliot! But what about Benwick?! I shall have to continue reading.
Watching / Clash of the Titans
It would take a colossal shitfest for this movie to let me down. It’s got everything I need in a movie:
I mean, jesus christ. I’m not expecting an Oscar-worthy movie, you know? And let’s be honest, now that shit like The Blind Side gets critical acclaim, that really doesn’t mean anything anymore anyways. I just want to see Sam Worthington be hot as hell, and stab people. And run around with Gemma Arterton. And be epic. He’s absolutely got to be epic.
Listening / Taking Dawn, Time to Burn
I came across these guys when I was lame enough to buy the God of War 3 soundtrack. Leave me alone, it had two of my favorite bands (Opeth, Dream Theater), and as a fanboy I was morally obligated to support them. But then I came across their track, and I was like “This is so retarded, it’s amazing.”
Snagging the album, I found that they’re pure dickrock. They remind me of some 1980’s hair metal band. When I put them on, I want to be wearing leather chaps and giving Rob Halford a blowjob. It’s been in constant rotation on my iPod and at home, and I can’t help it. I know that what I’m doing makes me a total toolbag, but I feel that in half the stuff I do in my life. It never stops me though, does it?
No fucking way!
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What are you people up to this week?