Variant Covers: Matt Murdock Has Creepy Eyes, Blackest Ass Grabs for Money

Totally Brooding, Man.
Daredevil #503

I’ve been digging on Daredevil for a while. Somehow this title has been given the gift of quality creative teams time and time again. How it’s gone from Bendis (prior to being stretched thin writing the entire Marvel Universe) to Brubaker to now Diggle is beyond me. Most titles have me dropping them like woah once their quality team leaves. Or maybe I’m just an asshole; I’ve stuck around with both the Daredevil and Fantastic Four creative shifts and found myself pretty fucking stoked with the follow-ups.

Daredevil is currently the head of the fucking Hand. Seriously. Diggle’s taken a dude already consumed with an impressive amount of self-hate and thrown him into the belly of the Devil. Meanwhile Kingpin, when not stuffing his face with quality New York City vendor hotdogs is, of course, trying to bring down the Murdock. There’s something awesome about seeing Daredevil rolling out with a fucking clan of ninjas, who now all sport bad ass devil horns in their typical ninja masks.

I’ve enjoyed watching Daredevil’s spiral into oblivion for years now. Instead of throwing the reader some predictable “Golly gee, I’ve found my way” bullshit, Diggle has gone the atypical route and well, Murdock just keeps fucking up. He’s sitting on a throne of misery in the heart of some cave somewhere, contemplating the various ways in which he has fucked up. This issue follows Murdock as he continues to wield a league of assassins for something resembling good, which sounds a lot like trying to corral extremist terorrists into running a daycare program. Good luck with that shit, Matty.

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Also coming out this week in the Marvel neck of the woods is a fucking fuckload of comic books. Captain America Reborn #5 is coming out, which promises to like, totally have you on the edge of your seats wondering if Steve Rogers is coming back. That’s sarcasm, we all know he’s coming back. Even worse? Dude already appeared, alive, in last week’s issue of Invincible Iron Man. What the fuck is that shit, Marvel? Were there delays and shit in shipping titles? That was confusing as Batman dying twice last year. Astonishing X-Men #33 continues doing its own thing in the X-Verse, while the rest of the titles seem to be converging on some epic confrontation. As usual. This time hinging on the return of Hope or some shit to modern times. Hint: She’s totally Jean Grey.

EXPLOSIONS!!!~!
Incorruptible #1
A lot of people have spent the good part of 2k09 jizzing in their pants over Mark Waid’s Irredeemable. Basic premise? Superman becomes a psychopathic killer, and the world dares to find a way to try and stop him. I haven’t made my way through all the issues, but there’s a haunting scene where the Superman Analog wipes out an entire family before whispering in the ear of the fallen family’s daughter “Do you know who I am Sarah? I’m a superhero.” Creepy shit.

Anyways, Waid senses a good thing when he has it, and he’s busting out the foil for Irredeemable, Incorruptible. It’s the inversion of the prior title, seemingly chronicling a dude who was a baddie deluxe who now wants to walk the path of the righteous. He goes from MAX DAMAGE to MAX DARING. I don’t know. Maybe it’ll be cool. Waid’s got me sucked in just based on the title following the wake of Irredeemable’s hype. Maybe it’s sweet as fuck, maybe it’s a forced attempt at contrasting themes. I’m snagging the first issue at the least and hoping for the best.

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Green Lantern Corps #43

They should title this shit “Green Lantern Corps #43 – If You Don’t Read This, You Won’t Know What the Fuck Is Going On In Blackest Night.” Yeah, that title is long as fuck, but it gets the point across. I’m cool with tie-ins, but when every single fucking title that is in a tie-in must be read to understand the central story. I picked up the latest issue of Blackest Night, and all the Lanterns were giving each other handjobs and having beers after work. It’s not that I couldn’t figure out what was going on. But rather, I think that something that goddamn important shouldn’t be relegated to a spin-off title.

I’m sure there’s some length conversation that could take place wherein we debate the proper role of tie-in titles and other bullshit, but I’m just going to side-step intellectualism (I know I did that far, far before this) and call them dumb and lame. Auxiliary titles should supplement the main event title, not contain moments that are enormous occurrences. I understand the financial reasons for it, but c’mon. Please? If I have to pick up Green Hornet someday to find out that Superman has decided he wants to be a professional ventriloquist in Throwdown for the Cape and Red Undies, I’m going to be annoyed.

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Other DC titles dropping are stuff and stuff. There’s an Arkham Asylum special, which makes sense, because the game sold a zillion copies and is already getting a fucking sequel. Then there’s Superman/Batman #67 which is a Blackest Night tie-in. Which means they probably end the war, Batman returns, and Superman gets Lois pregnant. Just, you know, judging by the fact that they give serious content to spin-off titles to keep you buying them. No, I’m really not complaining about that still.

Okay, yes I am.