Monday Morning Commute: Goodbye and Goodnight to 2020!
Jesus fucking Christ, we made it to the end of this year. Congratulations if you’re reading this. The thresher may have ripped and torn at your nipples. Grinded and pulverized your soul. But you fucking made it, my dude! There’s a goddamn victory in that, even if your psyche is in tatters. May the next year give way to actual social events (albeit still mutated, sure), and a warm balm that may not heal the scar tissue, but soothe the soul.
We made it! Oh fucking thank the disaffected Eldritch Ones, we made it. So let’s celebrate that shit with one last Monday Morning Commute in this accursed year, no?
Tell me, what are you up to this holiday week! Are you cracking open a new video game? A new IPA? A new batch of wet wipes and grinding out one last batch of proto-children? Let’s celebrate the arts & farts one last time together, then help launch the engine that’ll shoot this year into the fucking sun.
I’ve been fucking pinballing around a variety of games lately. Just erratically hunting for something to induce some sort of tingle in my nutsack. Hunting for anything, anything to engorge the glands! Coming off of the disappointment of Cyberpunk 2077 this has been no small task, you know? But, I’ve found a couple titles. I’ve returned to Days Gone. It’s a damn fine game, especially for sluts like me who lick at the trough of Ubi-esque titles. The main thing holding it back is WoW-levels fucking reputation grinds for campus. Woof.
As well, my mother-in-law snagged me Yakuza: Like A Dragon for my new Xbox Series X. I’ve tried in the past to get into this franchise, but the combat never really got me. However, the series’ pivot to straight-up turn based JRPG has me in love. Not to mention the game’s general level of insanity. Ever want to brawl on the streets of Japan, using sex toys as melee weapons? Here we are!
Bags and I have been straight mainlining horror movies the past week. Okay, actually pretty much all of 2020. But we really took it that shit to the next level last week. We watched Anything For Jackson, A Dark Song, and Relic. My primary takeaways from the flicks? Just don’t fuck with the Occult. Do not attempt to barter with dark spirits. They’re gonna eat your soul, eat your ass, and spit you into the fucking void. Move on.
All three movies are fucking worth your time, and the first two are definitely solid, solid entries into 2020’s filmography.
Bonus advice: let the dead stay dead. Never a good pivot to try and bring them back.
[New Year’s Eve!]
Let’s just own it, this New Year’s Eve is going to suck! Which is why Bags and I are going to be streaming on New Year’s Eve instead of Wednesday this week! Join us, fellow members of the OL family, and blow-up the last remnants of 2020 with us! But wait, there’s more! My loose cannon wife, Sam herself, is going to finally join the stream. If you thought we were out of control, woah baby. Steel yourself. Hope to see all you fuckers there!
Well, I finally got my student grades in yesterday. Right at the buzzer! My fuck-up is constantly wanting to give them as much time as possible, only to personally pay the price. Eh! They’re done. Which means I have a full month to convalesce. Get fat. Get hairy. Blitz through the aforementioned games.
Sam’s got the week off too, so we may finally go car shopping. We’ve been essentially down to one car all year, and haven’t really rectified the problem due to laziness.
[Cobra Kai Never Dies!]
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the third season of Cobra Kai drops this Friday! Give me a fuck, give me a yes! Smash them together, give me a fuck yes! I’m ready to continue wallowing in self-hate and attempts at redemption alongside Johnny! I’m ready to continue rooting for Miguel, rolling my eyes at Daniel-San, and sweating the two rivals’ eventual team-up.
The show works on so many goddamn levels from me. From the aforementioned down-on-his-luck dude trying to do better, to the glorious amount of roundhouse kicks, to the 80s references. It is, more or less, my everything.
At the same time, I just finished the first season of Spartacus. Definitely another show that appeals to core values of mine. You know, sex and violence. Be proud, Freud! Bump a line, scream into the winds, and pat yourself on the back. You may not have explained everyone’s core desires, but you’ve explained mine. However, I think to point only towards the sex and violence is to sell the show short. It ain’t exactly a fucking revelation, or transcendent, but the show does create an engrossing cast of characters. Like, they rope you with the tits and swords. But they do so, only to buy time as slowly get you connected to its cast.
That’s pretty much it for me this week, my friends. Video games, horror movies, butts, and violence. To be fair, such a summary encapsulates pretty much all of 2020 for yours truly! Enough about me, though! What are you up to this final week of the year? More accurately, these final few days of the year?