Dude Accused of Bestiality, Blames Shapeshifting Prostitute. He’s Getting Jobbed!

If there’s one thing I learned from True Blood it’s that people have poor taste in television shows. If there’s two things I’ve learned it’s that banging shapeshifters gets you into trouble. I wish I could have told this to an adult my age who is now unfortunately getting charged with bestiality.

io9:

Last Sunday, Zimbabwean police found a 28-year-old man in flagrante delicto with a donkey in the town of Zvishavane. When pressed for a rationale, the man offered up that which can only be described as your typical  True Bloodsubplot. Reports  New Zimbabwe:

A man caught having sex with a donkey stunned a court on Monday by claiming that the animal was in fact a hooker he pulled from a nightclub […]

“Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested,” he began. “I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.”

Additionally,  AFP reports  that the amorous accused has no ill will toward the shapeshifting strumpet. “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey,” he admitted.

Stay strong. Fucking shapeshifters.