CAGE MATCH: The Week in Nic Cage

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CAGE! Yes, the world’s greatest actor turned 47 last Friday, which also happened to be Season of the Witch‘s opening day. Cage had this to say about the combination birthday/premiere:

“I’ve never had a movie open on my birthday before. We’ll see what the movie gods wanna do about it.” (via)

Well *ahem* the movie gods must have been sleeping because SotW got shit reviews (including from me). January is always a dismal month for movies. It’s when studios infamously dump out the leftover projects after awards season is over. But I have a very good feeling about next month’s Drive Angry. VERY good.

So besides bumming on SotW, it’s an exciting week at Cage Match. Yesterday I posted a video on YouTube that was currently unavailable. It’s some rare shit and Devin at BadAss Digest first posted yesterday. I hope you all get a kick out of it. I did. We also get the dish on why Michel Gondry is a moron and a chance to revisit Christoper Coppola’s classic Deadfall on Netflix. Let’s go!

Season of the Witch Is a Silly, Silly Movie; Inspires a Lousy Critic

The long awaited release of SotW came over the weekend. It made a noble $11 million but garnered truly abysmal reviews   – including our very own. It currently has a 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and while cruising some of its bad press, I discovered a critic who may possibly be six-years-old. Seriously:

This is the puffy-faced Nic Cage.  The one who fights for Christ and Little Debbies and not necessarily in that order. (Editor’s note – WTF does this mean?)

Before the opening credits roll, it’s clear that Season of the Witch should have been called Season of the Which Way out of this Theater?

“I wish I had that big red fist from Hellboy now,” said Perlman.  ”But I left it up  Guillermo del Toro’s ass.”

His entire “review” is made up of zingers like the ones above. You’ll laugh until it HURTS!

Michel Gondry Didn’t Want Cage to do a Rastafarian Accent; Denies Us Bliss

Originally, Cage was cast as the villain in Michel Gondry’s Green Hornet, coming out this Friday. That was back in the summer of 2009. While developing the character, Cage and Gonry were constantly at odds. The role of the villain Chudnofsky, which ended up going to Christoph Waltz once Cage dropped out, would have seen Cage facing off against Seth Rogen’s Green hornet…and…wait for it…SPEAKING IN A RASTAFARIAN ACCENT!!! JoBlo reports:

Gondry and Cage had frequent arguments about the direction of the character because “for reasons known only to [Cage], he insisted on using a Jamaican accent.” It was a difficult few months for the production but eventually Cage left the film and Gondry couldn’t have been happier. “I was quite relieved,” Gondry admits, “when [Cage] announced he no longer wanted the part.”

I like Gondry’s movies and there’s no denying he’s an incredibly creative dude with a vision. But when Cage, for whatever reason, wants to go Rasta for a role, you don’t ask questions. This could have been one of Cage’s great displays of genius, you lanky little weird man.

The Cage of Nicholas Makes It Online, You’re Welcome

Back in 1992, artsy fartsy director extraordinaire George Kuchar made a 10-minute BW short called The Cage of Nicholas. It stars Christopher DigiVangelist Coppola and was shot in Cage’s 1992 home. I only heard of this gem a couple days ago and it was pretty damn tough to find. I’m lying, it wasn’t that hard BUT it wasn’t on YouTube at all. None of it. So I did a cosmic solid and made this bizarre, brief film available to the world.

Two highlights of the film are Cage’s MASSIVE dragon fireplace and Christopher’s humorous story about a vision Cage had of his brother as a hermit in Oklahoma, eating hamburgers. Christopher’s response to Cage’s discovery is awesome. Enjoy and share:


Deadfall Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

Oh hell yes. The penultimate Cage performance, after Vampire’s Kiss, is available on Watch Instantly. DEADFALL! You might remember a few weeks back when Cage’s brother, Christopher, commented on Cage Match. He directed Deadfall and called it “horrible” in his comment. I disagree! Cage is unreal as Eddie! Christopher told Cage he could wear whatever he wanted for the character, and Cage showed up looking like…well, just watch the video above then watch the whole thing on Netflix. Do it!