I had the greatest idea yesterday. It involved a musical I’m going to put on. The star will be none other than my hero, the Martian. Aka Weezy F. Baby. It isn’t going to be an original production, but rather a reimagining of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Check this shit out.


Weezy Wonka and the Sizzurp Factory. I realized that this was a go when I pictured little kids swimming around in one of those Wonka lakes, but it’s made up of fucking cough syrup with codeine and Sprite. Sizzurp in the house! I can’t tell you why I was picturing little kids swimming in lakes of codeine cough syrup. Like, I literally have no idea how I arrived at that thought. Who knows!

Also, maybe the kids can prance through cannabis gardens, and they’ll get shot out of a fucking cannon by little midget helper people when they start smoking too much and the what not.

Weezy Wonka. It can’t be worse than that deep-fried abortion that Johnny Chucklefuck Depp and Timmy Totally Kooky Burton put out a couple of years ago. Right?

Who wants in? I’m currently casting as well as soliciting donations.