I once spent an entire afternoon hanging out with Boba Fett. He showed me around Slave I, taught me how to use a jetpack, and even let me tag along when he met some of his scummy friends for a drink. It was pretty much the best Saturday of my life.
Actually, that’s a lie. I didn’t get to do any of that shit. I was just trying to impress you.
But, what I did get to do this Saturday afternoon was spend some time with a six-pack of Black Jack Porter from the Left Hand Brewing Company. C’mon, let me apologize for telling tall tales by describing this beer to you! Seriously, check out my brew review! I promise it’ll be a halfway decent read!
Whenever someone describes something as having the quality of Black Jack, I’m inclined to think of it as razor sharp and always clean. But as I’m trying to be more responsible as I get older, I did my best to cast aside preconceived notions. Consequently, I hit up the brewery website to see what they had to say. Black Jack Porter, in their words:
Black Jack Porter delves deeply beneath the surface to embrace your Ace. Espresso and dark chocolate flavors envelop your senses, with herbaceous hop flavors pulling you from the light. You never know what treasures may be lurking in the darkness. Will you play the game?
If the game is beer-drinkin’, I’m always willing to play.
The porter poured into my glass darker than a raven’s feather, with a head as tan as the lightest sands of Tatooine. The foam dissipated quickly, which is assuring because I’m considering growing a gross mustache, and if I do I certainly don’t want to get beer suds stuck in it. I tried to inspect the brew in front of a light, but I’m not sure that there were any subtle tones to be found. Maybe some really rich reds, but for the most part Black Jack Porter is some sort of obsidian variety.
Olfactorily (that’s right, I maked a damn adverb out of olfactor. Also, don’t tell me that the past tense of make is made. I don’t buy it), this beer is a real treat. The fragrance contains strong elements of smokey pepper, with some roasted qualities rounded out the initial whiff-attack. As I continued to sniff, I began to detect just a faint memory of early-mornin’ coffee-brewin’ sessions. It’s not enough to get me out of bed, but I’m certainly thinking about getting a caffeine fix.
Drinking-wise, Black Jack Porter is a real contender. I’m not sure that it’d be the heavyweight champion, but it’s definitely not some lame-ass jabroni. Maybe it could be the Intercontinental Champion. Although the body is basically medium, there is a real richness of flavor. Therefore, I can’t help but look at this concoction as a beverage that is incredibly drinkable but also worth savoring. The words I would use to describe this porter are as follows: toasted, malty, dark, slightly spicy, floral, and worth drinking.
Just a side note – I feel like Black Jack Porter would be an excellent beer to drink throughout a nite that is accompanied by salty hors d’oeuvres. Don’t ask me why.
So although I didn’t get to hang out with Boba Fett today, I don’t really care. I’ve got a solid buzz going and I was able to get it by drinking tasty beer (instead of sniffing glue). The Left Hand Brewing Company has yet again proven to me that they know that they’re doing. And in a way, that’s more comforting than spending time with the dude that carted around Harrison Ford during his post-carbonite freezing episode.
The verdict: (a very solid, we’re talkin’ like an 86.4% ) B!