WI-FI BLOCKING WALLPAPER Protects Your Porno-Den From External Leeches.

Are you scared of people leeching off your fat pipes? More pressingly, are you scared of someone surfing into your network and peeking into your deepest darkest collection of latex-clad-furry bukkake? You must built your fort with this glory. Wi-fi blocking wallpaper. Protect your Fortress of Solitude.

Gizmodo:

Scientists from the institut polytechnique Grenoble INP and the Centre Technique du Papier have developed a novel new product so gratuitous, it almost seems necessary: a silver-crystal coated wallpaper that can block neighbors from freeloading off your Wi-Fi network. The silver crystals are arranged in such a way that they are able to block certain wireless frequencies, not least of which is the same frequency as a WiFI router.

But, what about just setting up a password-protected network? I don’t know. You most certainly can–and  should–do that. But if, for whatever reason, an open network is what you desire, this silver snowflake-speckled wall-covering will have your back. Unless you have windows. They’re still working on a clear coating with protective power equal to that of the paper.

Also, there will of course be somebody out there who will buy this, someone who both delights in a room covered floor-to-ceiling in metallic snowflakes  and  believes said remediation is superior to setting a password (which is  free, mind you–this wallpaper, when it’s released in 2013, will cost about as much as mid-grade conventional wallpaper). Who  is  this person?

I am this person! Or well, no, I’m not. Would be hard to explain to the girlfriend. (Though not as hard as perhaps you would imagine.)