Fear Fest: Death!

OCTOBER 13th, Death

“Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order.”
-David Gerrold

You are going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it’s inevitable.

You. Will. Die.

That kind of sucks huh? Today’s fear is something that’s been on my mind lately; death. How depressing is that statement? I don’t necessarily fear death, but I am aware that it will find me one way or another. Today is my 30th birthday. Have I hit the midpoint? Do I have 30 more years in these rattles bones of mine? Are my organs up to the task of keeping me alive? If I do have 30 more years to kick around, are they going to better than the last 30 or worse? Who knows, and more importantly, who cares? That’s where thanatophobia comes in. As a side note how fucking cool is that word; thanatophobia. The fear of death is the fear of the unknown.

Most people who fear death are religious. I’ve often thought that the reason I don’t fear death is that I’m agnostic. I don’t believe in an afterlife. I don’t believe in the notion that what we do in the world matters once we are gone. I am however grateful that most people do not share my beliefs … and I certainly won’t push them on anyone. If there was no fear of punishment after death, there would be nothing to hold back the flood of the evils that man can accomplish. Fear of hell, or whatever negative post death location you believe in, keeps most people in line. Despite what one faith says over another, no one knows. It’s nice to think there is a heaven but I’ve never been able to make the connection from fantasy to reality in my head.

I’m so unafraid of death that I pre-purchased my headstone … I had to guess on the date. I figured if I’m wrong, I may as well be way off and make people in the future think I was near immortal.

We’ve yet to discuss it, but fear is the greatest of all motivators. Why don’t you tell your boss that he/she is a useless fuck-wad that couldn’t do your job? Fear of being fired. Why don’t you talk to the pretty girl at the bar? Fear of being rejected or humiliated. Why do you drive the speed limit? Fear of getting a ticket. Why don’t you engage in coitus with Courtney Love? Fear of disease. Unlike all those other fears that can be avoided depending on behavior, death comes for us all. Why don’t you break into a convent and rape and murder nuns? Fear of hell … and prison I guess.

The fear or awareness of death is something we all share. I can’t understand why a person would fear butterflies. I can’t fathom the mindset of a person that fears trees. However, since I’m going to die, I understand the mind that fears death. The other part of thanatophobia is the fear of the death of others. I am a single male in my 30’s (oh god, that number looks big). I am still very selfish. There is no one out there whose death I fear. Sure I have both my parents, and while I know that their deaths will suck, I don’t fear it. However, for the people who fear the death of others, it’s not the fear of the unknown that gets them, but the futility to stop death that drives the fear.

THE ANSWER: There is nothing to be done. You have to step back, realize that you are essentially a parasitic organism living on a dust speck in the back-ass part of the universe. One you realize that you mean next to nothing and awaken to the fact that no one has the answers, you start to feel better. In short, control what you can control, don’t worry about the shit you can’t.