THIS WEEK ON Dexter: Teenage Wasteland

The Dexter season is officially rocking. I have to tip my cap to the late inning rally by the writers, salvaging countless episodes of build-up and turning it into a momentum-fueled final act of the season. Maybe last season did coalesce this slowly, but I never noticed it because of how taken I was with Trinity. Interjecting Jordan Chase into the season would have captivated me more quickly, but fuck, now that they’ve got me, I ain’t complaining. We’ve finally gotten the rocket-ship ass-clenching roller coaster we were clamoring for. We shouldn’t complain. We should take it! Take it!

I kick it crazy here over in the re-up section of Omega Level. I imagine that writing the weekly column is much like teaching a classroom . I can’t do the same shit every week. I’ll go fucking banana cakes. So I switch it up. This week we’re rocking the column in the form of the absolutely fucking pertinent questions about the remainder of the season that I’m going to pose. Your job is to ingest my nonsense, and then hit me with your thoughts. Let’s party.


#1: Is Dexter the Coolest Feminist Ever?
I’m going to level with everyone. I’m really enjoying watching Dexter lay out dudes who put their hands on women. Watching him lay down the stink-fist on the abusive quasi-father of Astor’s friend last night had me fist pumping. Keep the fist pumping coming, yo! Tie that shit in with his pursuit of the Boyd Fowler Rape gang, and you have the coolest feminist ever. Sort of. I know I’m being ridiculous. But still, if there is anything that pisses me off more than a meathead demeaning of a chick, I can’t locate it at this moment.

Also, did you ever notice that Dexter’s continuously trying to fill the void left by his mother’s death? Ever since he was caked to the knees in her hemoglobin, he’s been searching for a proxy. He only gets close to women. Lila, Rita, now Lumen. And invariably, I’m noticing that they all die. He can’t seem to keep that maternal/sexual female figure on lock down. Much to do is made about Deb’s black widow status. But Dexter seems to get every chick near him killed as well.


#2: Don’t You Want to Body Slam Petulant Teenagers?
Astor’s turn into a moody, bitchy teenage snot bag was groan-inducing and bothersome. Actually, she’s still a tweener or whatever, but still. I understand that losing your mother would fuck you up done good, but there’s something about whiny kids in television shows that makes me want to dragon uppercut their brains out of their skulls. Blah, blah, you don’t understand me. Blah, blah, oh my god how could you be porking Save the Last Dance so soon after Mom died?

She did serve the purpose of being Dexter’s means of reaffirming his humanity, but I’ll be damned if I could stand Astor in the majority of the episode. The little sap in me enjoyed their final conversation in the car, but for the most part I fantasized about someone throwing pies off her face.


#3: How Does Dexter Escape Robocop?
Liddy is coming on strong, and something is going to go down between Quinn, Dexter, and Robocop. I love how his initial hiring at the hands of Quinn has been parlayed into his means of getting back at LaGuerta, and potential redemption. I’m never going to bet on Dexter getting caught, so every season it becomes “How the fuck does Dexter escape this?”

Any thoughts? Does Quinn go down in a blaze? Do Dexter and Lumen take him out? He hasn’t violated the code so what do they do with him?


#4: Who Is That Chick Around Jordan Chase’s Neck?
Jordan Chase has cemented himself as my second favorite foil. No one will ever top Trinity, but as far as creep factor goes, he’s a safe second. A Dexter run amok, his desire to seize each and every one of his primal drives is ridiculous. He doesn’t reject his dark passenger. No sir. He shotguns beers with him and then goes and buries chicks in a swamp.

But who is that chick around his neck? Furthermore, what sort of tie did Boyd, Cole, Jordan and the others have?

Now that the two players are aware of each other, the season has inevitably come down to their race to kill one another. Every season Dexter always engages in a final showdown with that season’s foil, as they race to outwit and kill one another.

Double awesome creep factor when Chase dropped Lumen’s name at the end of the episode.


#5: Isn’t Harry Just Dexter’s Subconscious At This Point?
Earlier in the season I suggested that Harry was no longer a manifestation of The Code. Last night’s episode supported that claim. At this point, there ain’t no way that Harry can be anything other than a portion of Dexter’s fractured psyche. He is inconsistent, and often comments more on Dexter’s behavior as a person than whether or not what he is doing is following the tenuous rules set up for him.

Harry’s proud of Dexter laying a beat down on Abusive Boyfriend guy? It seems in congruent with a guy who earlier in the episode was telling Dexter having a family at is a liability. More than a a fragment of Harry that lives on, he’s become Dexter’s inner dialogue. They argue, they disagree, but as Dexter becomes more human, that part of his psyche praises his active inner voice.

It’s neat.


#6: How Is Lumen Going to Die?
Maybe I’m reading the tea leaves wrong, but I’m going to say that Lumen doesn’t have much more time on this big blue globe. The facts are as follows: every woman that Dexter chooses to confide in dies. Every “special guest” on the show only lasts a single season. I don’t think I’m way off base in assuming that at the very least, Lumen isn’t going to make it to season six. So, does she die? Does she go home? Perhaps that’s the less dismal ending. After finding resolution in the completion of her task, she leaves to live a life.

Either way, there’s bummer and heartache in Dexter’s future. Again. Poor bastard.

Thoughts about the episode? Musings about Liddy’s hairline? Hit me.


For more of my pop culture and dork musings, hit up Omega Level.