When Lamps Attack; They’re Homicidal, Man!

As you may or may not know, Pepsibones and I live under the same roof. The result is a lot of absurd conversations, and oodles of wasted time.

Today as I was trying to pump out Press Start!, the Bones was in my room. I walked out for a moment to throw away a Diet Mountain Dew bottle. As I returned, he was in the middle of tipping a lamp over on himself. I caught him, I was too quick for his old man bones.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked him.

“The lamp was attacking me. It was a lamp attack.” He informed me.

This is about par for the course in one of our conversations.

“What the fuck is a lamp attack?” I inquired.

“It’s when a lamp loses its mind and attacks you.”

He seemed deadly serious.

He then proceeded to insist on showing me what it looks like when a lamp attacks a person. As you can see, it is not pretty in the least. Watch out for the lamps, yo. They’re eying you.