This Is A Device That Uses G-Force To Force Babies Out. No, Really.

This is the sort of machine that Pepsibones or I would dream up at the dinner table while our family was trying to eat. And then they’d all deride us, our girlfriends and our parents, calling us sickos and pre-vurts. Well guess what, naysaying family members! Someone else thought this up, and it’s awesome, and like, sort of real.

Boing Boing:

Seen here is an unusual example of excess G’s being harnessed for the good. The patent holders, George B. and Charlotte Blonsky, contend that the centrifuge could be a boon to “more civilized women,” who, they surmise, often lack the muscle strength needed to easily push out a baby. Centrifugal force would act as a sort of invisible midwife, lessening the muscular force required for birthing. Would it work, though? Could one create enough outward force on the baby to make a difference — without simultaneously making the mother lightheaded? I sent the patent to April Ronca, who used to research the effects of zero G on fetal growth and birth for NASA. “That is an interesting invention,” she replied.


Note the elasticized “pocket-shaped newborn net” – lest the baby shoot out and bump its head with double-G force.

Scientists are fucking awesome! And someday I hope to come up with a device this cool.