Friday Brew Review – Ginger Wheat
This one goes out to Tommy Rock. He’s a close friend of mine — over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of playing music, ranting about existence, and just chilling out with him. On Tuesday I was too sick to stay up and watch LOST with Caffeine Powered and the usual pack of goons. But when I woke up the next morning, I saw that the fridge contained a brown bag declaring “For Pepsibones. <3 Tommy Rock.”
In the bag — a couple of fat beers. I now know that there might be no better way to wake up than by realizing that a friend has dropped off a care-package of cold ones. So once again — thanks Tommy.
One of the cold ones left for my dopey ass was Ginger Wheat. This brew is the twenty-ninth concoction in Harpoon’s 100 Barrel Series; having tried the thirtieth session of this collection a couple months ago, I felt that it’d be a good decision to give its predecessor an honest try. So snatched that shit out of the fridge, fixed the Gogurts I knocked over, and headed towards the driveway.
Yes, today I decided to drink beer in the driveway. Why? If you’re guessing it’s because I’m a hillbilly, then you’re wrong! The fact of the matter is that it was damn nice outside today…and the only thing better than reading comic books and drinking beer is doing so in the sunshine. So I parked my fanny in a plastic chair, affixed my eyes to some paneled pages and prepared myself for a mild buzz.
I coaxed Ginger Wheat out of the bottle and into a clean beer glass. Why did I mention that it was a clean glass? Well, I’ve been doing some reading about beer-drinking and every guide I come across makes sure to mention that a glass should be completely clean before a beer is poured into it. Which, makes sense…but what type of chucklefuck drinks beer out of a sullied glass? Could there be an asshole who finishes a hearty bowl mac’n’cheese and then immediately proceeds to fill said bowl with a tangy brew? I guess so.
Rest assured, Pepsibones Krueger is not one of those assholes. I’m a different kind.
Anyways, Ginger Wheat poured as an amberish, hazy shade of red-meets-orange liquid. There wasn’t too much head to be found, but I don’t really mind. Hell, who do you think I am, BILL CLINTON!?!?! Sizing up the beer before drinking it, I had good feelings. I actually said to myself, “I’m feeling this.” Luckily, only the cat was present and no one could call me a creep for talking to myself. Unless…nah, nevermind.
Taking a whiff, I detected notes of ginger and lemon. The smell reminds me of a cold tea — not iced tea, but a hot tea that you set on the windowsill and then forgot about. “Gahddammut,” you mutter to the picture of your dead great aunt, “my fucking tea is cold!” It also smells like a beverage that you’d give to a sickly child. But seriously, don’t do that. Because then the kid will get drunk and you’ll have to go to court.
Okay, okay, okay, I know you’re saying how the fuck does Ginger Wheat taste!? Stop rambling already! Well, the drink is remarkably potable, going down the hatch more easily than I anticipated. The texture is watery and bold, but not flimsy; the two qualities balance each other out (or I have a buzz and am trying to use words any way my brain will allow). When it’s in my mouth, Harpoon’s creation tastes like a beer that’s been hanging around the arcade with honey. Once I swallow an enjoyable umbrage of lemon-wonder keeps my palate thoroughly satisfied.
This all makes sense, too. After all, the label on the beer reads;
The spicy, warming flavor of this ale, derive from the addition of fresh ginger, harmonizies with the combination of honey, lemon juice and wheat malt.
Ah…oh, uh, yeah…I totally taste the wheat malt. Forreal.
I’m not usually a fan of the Harpoon Brewery. But I think they’re really onto something with this 100 Barrel Series. Ginger Wheat is delicious brew, a cross between the inebriating prowess of a cold one and the flavors of that shit you get when sitting down at a Chinese restaurant.
I think we’re onto something here. Grade: A-