Final Fantasy XIII Tour Bus Is Like Bang Bus For Nerds

Let's Get Fuckin' Crazy, Nerdcore Style

Final Fantasy XIII is making the rounds in the San Francisco area in the form of a swank ass tour bus this week. As if it isn’t bad enough that I’m buried in snow and gray skies here on the Left Coast, people in the land of Terminator Governing and medicinal marijuana are getting the chance to play an English demo of FFXIII. I’m god damn jealous.


The whole thing seems like a wet dream of mine come to life. Except in my dream, Snow and Lightning are like, GET IN, GET IN. So I hop into the bus, and then Snow is like “Oh hey, check out this couch” and Lightning is like “I uh, have to go update my Facebook status” and as I watch her walk off into some other compartment, Snow slowly and sensually takes off his ballin’ bandana and jacket and asks me to rub salve on his enormous pecs.

It’s sort of like that. But only you get to play Final Fantasy XIII in English two months early. Just a little cocktease, but better than nothing.