360 Avatars Get Lightsaber – Geeks Raped for their Nerdlust

An Idiot Like Me

I was kickin’ around in the 360’s Marketplace today as I downloaded the newest Mass Effect DLC, “Pinnacle Station“. My friend, The Dude had mentioned to me that you could buy Mass Effect junk for your avatar. I ultimately settled on the N7 shirt. As retarded as it sounds, I decided that while the spacesuits were super-ballin’, my digital representation wouldn’t wear that. I’m in civilian clothes. We commented that it was hilarious that we’d be gouged for that gear. But we also both bought some swag.

Then I stumbled across this: a motherfucking lightsaber. I checked it out on my avatar. Okay, maybe I wouldn’t wear a spacesuit, but I would definitely wield a lightsaber. I know it doesn’t make sense. Then I went to buy it. It cost 400 Microsoft points.

Let’s be clear. “Pinnacle Station”, the DLC costs 400 MS points. So does the lightsaber. Since Microsoft uses the esoteric, bizarre pricing points in an effort to confuse us, that translates to around $5.

$5 for three hours of gaming. Okay, makes sense. $5 for a lightsaber? Holy shit.

Like Blizzard, who can rape nerds into paying $40 for a live stream of their Blizzcon news, Microsoft and/or Lucas (I don’t know who gets the money, I’m lazy) knows they can rape us nerds by increasing the price of the lightsaber to ridiculous proportions. I paid 80 points for my t-shirt, but it’s 400 for a saber? 5 times the amount? That’s absurd.

The worst part is I keep thinking about it. I wants it. I needs it. MY PRECIOUS. It’s idiots like me (I’ll ultimately cave) that enable people like Microsoft and Blizzard to rape us silly. $5 for a little lightsaber. It’s ridiculous. Exorbitant. I’m going to cave. Fuck me.