And a thousand nerds creamed their pants at once, as the last season of LOST was underway. We had traveled through time ourselves, arriving in front of our televisions, our pants soggy, our lungs shuddering, our heart thundering. Sweet Jesus Christ, I had my mind fucked and left for dead last night. You know how sometimes a dog gets too excited, and it piddles on the floor? Well unfortunately, I’m a human, and I had the misfortune of running around my room screaming in-between commercials and peeing all over brother and friend alike.
Where to start? Where the fuck to start?
The episode starts and already I’m hyper-ventilating. I had a good suspicion that the episode was going to start with the plane crashing. Wrong, I’m already wrong. Jack’s sitting in the cabin and I’m vibrating back and forth and saying annoyingly out loud “Is this the actual footage from Season One? Is it? Pepsibones? Is it? Is it?” and he isn’t paying attention to me and I don’t blame him.
Turbulence starts! And I’m like, alright, they’re going back to the Island I knew it! Suck it, destiny prevails! And then I have the experience of being wrong twice in a row. So then they show the sunken Island, and I’m all like, we’re not on our Island anymore!
And then they come back from the commercial and they’re on the Island? What the fuck is going on? Oh, only one of the nerdiest things ever: alternate dimensions! As in Dimension X! LA X! Get it?! Is it only so amazing to me!? I’m shitting myself just thinking about it. Was anyone else hyper-paranoid and staring at all the passengers trying to see if they were conscious of some sort of shift? Because I think there may be one guy who knows all the different timelines.
Mr. Desmond Hume.
I mean, I’m not really basing that on anything, other than the fact that he fucking disappeared off of the plane. But if this is a guy who has been traveling through time and space for a long, long time, maybe he has been aware of the different possibilities? He’s seen Charlie die a zillion different ways, in what I assume are different dimensions.
So now it becomes apparent where the wrinkle in the narrative is coming for this season. When I was told that they were no longer doing flashforwards or flashbacks, I was like, well then, what does that leave us with? The producers are calling it “Flash Sideways”, but we can just call it following the alternate dimension that occurred when Juliet smashed a hydrogen bomb with a brick and “fixed” everything. It’s a neat twist. I had always assumed that if they had prevented the pocket of energy from being released, that reality would have rebooted. Instead, there’s another splinter reality that broke off from the one we already knew.
It’s going to be interesting watching where this LA X goes. Thematically, you can already see them suggesting that a reality in which they never crashed wasn’t the Utopia that they had perhaps deluded themselves into thinking it was. Charlie wants to die, Kate’s on the run, Locke is still a crippled mess.
During an intermission, Pepsibones began rambling about how the Island is the means through which perhaps these people were able to correct their flaws, and they needed the tragedy to improve themselves. There may be something to that.
Let’s take a break from LA X, shall we?
Meanwhile, on the Island, the grand reveal I had been prognosticating with a lot of others came true: Smokey is fucking Jacob’s Nemesis. The entire reveal was immeasurably fucking awesome, and centered around an action sequence that had me shitting my pants, and one of my favorite lines in a long, long time. After thrashing all of Jacob’s bodyguards as Smokey, Facob comes back and tells Ben:
I’m sorry you had to see me like that.
My brain actually exploded in an alternate dimension when I heard that line. In this reality I just moaned uncontrollably and pissed off my friends with fist-pumps and hand-claps. I’m slowly realizing I’m like a toddler when I get worked up. You’ve probably all known that way before me though.
And since I’m still bragging about being correct, Smokey wants exactly what I predicted: he wants to be free from the Island. The dude has been bound to the Island, and I assume Jacob, for god knows how many centuries. This entire time Smokey has been manipulating people to get exactly what he wanted: Jacob dead, himself freed. All of this was detailed in an epic speech given to Ben by Facob as they laid in the Shadow of the Statue. The speech also contained one of the most heart-breaking moments in the show for me.
Locke’s ultimate fate is heart-smashing, and the speech that Facob gives about it laid waste to my skin with goosebumps.
You should know, he was very confused when you killed him…Do you want to know what he was thinking while you choked the life out of him was, Benjamin? I don’t understand. Isn’t that the saddest thing you ever heard? But it’s fitting in a way. Because when John first came to the Island, he was a very sad man. A victim. Shouting at the world for what he couldn’t do. Even though they were right. He was weak, and pathetic, and irrepairably broken. But despite all that, there was something admirable about him.
So what are they going for here? We have had the clash of the titans, Faith versus Reason since the show kicked off. Jack Shepherd versus John Locke. And both of them, both of them are miserable, sad bastards. My first inclination is to hold up Faith and say “See, this is what you get when you believe in something so blindly. You get choked to death in a hotel room for nothing.” But that isn’t entirely true, because as Facob said, there is something admirable about that dedication.
And I find that poor bastard’s fate to be entirely more heart-wrenching than the Sawyer and Juliet bullshit. Shit, she died. Oh well. And the Freckled Hussy still lives. But while Sawyer and Juliet hugging and making out covered in each other’s hemoglobin were one of the few times I was bored, hearing Facob describe Locke’s life nearly broke me. I got goosebumps, feeling for the guy. And I can’t help but hope that both Locke and Jack have happier lives in LA X, as suggested by the idea that Jack could cure Locke’s paralysis.
And I hope so for Jack’s sake, too. For reason has clearly failed Jack where faith has failed Locke. Jack wakes up, somehow being nuclearly-propelled back into the present day. Juliet’s dead, and they’re hanging out in the Temple of Doom with Jacob’s followers or some shit. It seems that the writers are trying to stem a bridge between the worlds of Faith and Reason, suggesting that the two of them are useless to an extent without the other, and suggest that staunch adherence to either of them gets you….Choked out in hotel rooms or fighting for you life on the set of an Indiana Jones movie.
As always, LOST follows the formula of giving us four mysteries for one answer. Alright, Smokey is Facob. But who the fuck are these people? What is this temple? What’s going on? Jesus Christ. The entire show has gotten entirely more epic in scope, for it appears that the fate of the world rests on Jack and his Buddies. They need to stop Smokey the Amorphous Cloud of Doom from leaving the Island, but how! And just who the fuck is he? Or Jacob?!
Facob is clearly heading for that Temple, where Jack and the rest are, and he does so after putting a serious stink onto Alpert’s face. Seriously, my heart seethed when I saw my boyfriend get laid out by Not-Locke. There was a serious ass-whupping dealt out. Facob comments that it’s good to see Richard out of “those chains”, which makes it clear the dude was summoned to Island by Jacob as part of the Blackrock. In addition, it would fit in with my idea that Richard was bound to Jacob just like Facob was bound to him. Not only would Facob have freed himself from serving some unaging-fish-eating master, but he would have let Alpert off the leash as well.
And then, the episode ends with Sayid waking up, after being resurrected in some Fountain of Youth/Lazarus Pit. Two hours of mindfuck, doled out to all of our unsuspecting asses. The entire experience has blown me away, and I cannot, for the life of me, stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it prior to it airing, and now all I want to do is watch it again.
The questions are overwhelming: why are Jack and everyone else important? Who are the people in the Temple? The amount of awesomeness that occurred in two hours far too much for me to cover. I mean, I haven’t even mentioned Hurley, who is beyond hilarious, and scripted to say exactly what the viewing audience is thinking, “Why aren’t you answering any of my questions?!”
Tags: LA X, LOST, Lost Season 6 Premiere, Sweet Lord Jesus He's Smokey
You failed to mention the best IN joke! …
BOON: You’re pulling my leg.
LOCKE: Why would I be pulling your leg?
Not to mention Artz … ARTZ!!
But seriously, it was alot to take in, so I won’t hold it against you. My main interest now is Sayid. We know Facob can wear other people’s forms, but can Jacob? We can assume Facob’s power is destruction while Jacob’s is Preservation, so does that mean in healing Sayid, Sayid is the new Jacob? Will there be an epic, Dragon Ball Z like confrontation between the two? When Facob told Richard it was good to see him out of those chains, was he referring to actual slave chains, or the metaphorical chains that presumably Jacob had over him? Will Batman be able to escape the Joker’s nefarious plot to blow up Gotham? These questions, and many more will NOT be answered on next week’s LOST
Dude, I was going to mention, that I think that Facob’s mentioning of chains was both metaphorical and literal, since I think that Jacob had the same power over Richard that he did over Facob. It would have been a nice twist.
the best moment of Hurley speaking for the audience (to me) was: “so…Rose’s husband is white…”
Hahahaha. I also liked how when finding out Jacob was dead, he wasn’t like “No way!”, but as my friend Dave pointed out, is just so accustomed to seeing dead people at this point, so he goes “That sucks.”
Here’s my take on what’s going on. Juliet detonating the bomb did not cause the timelines to split, but instead caused The Incident (which then, ironically, caused everyone’s original misery and eventual crash on the island due to the implementation of The Button and the eventual electromagnetic event that pulled the plane down in the first place). Juliet having fulfilled her purpose brought all the Dharma-era Losties back to the current time period with everyone else from Aijira 316 and Ben and Fake Locke; therefore Juliet’s actions enabled everyone to get back to the proper TIME on the island. Step 1.
That said, the scenes on the plane and in the airport are not what happened in the other timeline directly after Juliet detonated the bomb. My theory is that what is happening in the other timeline is a result of some OTHER incident or reboot on the island that causes the timelines to split. Step 2. It’s the classic LOST reveal; here’s a hint and a few clues, think about this for a while, now look over here… oh wait, ACTUALLY, look over HERE! THIS is what is going on, and IT WAS UNDER YOUR NOSE THE WHOLE TIME! (See also: the Locke is still dead reveal at the end of season 5.) Also, remember that Jack’s neck was bleeding in the airplane bathroom and was probably a clue as to something that we have seen the effects of but not the cause. (See also: Ben’s ripped jacket at the end of season 4.) I’m sure that in a future episode we’ll see what causes the real reboot and will see the cause of Jack’s cut; I really don’t think they would have put that detail in there unless it had a purpose.
So, here’s the scoop: At this early point in the season we’re looking at two different TIMES as well as two different timeLINES. The timeline did split and there was a reboot, but I don’t think that we have been shown what causes the reboot yet. My money is that it most definitely was not the detonation of the bomb; that’s way too easy. Since when has LOST selflessly let us eat from its hands and delivered instant gratification like that? I can’t think of a Big Thing like that resolving the way they inferred that it would throughout any of the show’s history, even if they overtly hinted that something would happen in a certain way.
Now, the original timeline Losties are still on the island, post-815 crashing, post-Incident that led to the building of the Swan, but PRE-reboot, in 2007. I’ll call this timeline A. What we have been shown on the plane is timeline B, back in 2004, where 815 never crashed due to a reboot that we still haven’t seen yet. I predict that the show’s going to continue on for a good chunk of the season presenting these two timelines as simultaneous in nature, but then there will be Some Big Reveal that will let the viewers in that the reboot wasn’t due to what Juliet did after all… but something as of yet unforeseen, which will converge the timelines so that whatever happens on the island in A will lead to what happens off the island in B. The timelines are not concurrent as “LA X” leads you to believe, but they are separate yet temporally sequential. The scenes off the island are best looked at like a combination of a flash-forward as WELL as a flash-sideward.
Fuck, my head hurts.
Or a wizard did it …
Both are acceptable theories.
Tommy-
I actually hold the same thought as you. This entire season will be showing 2004 X and how it comes to be “reality” via some future event in 2007…
Best line of the night by far: Jack to Locke “Nothing is irreversable”
Also Ian I too was crushed when not-Locke expained Lockes death. That drained me.
Jack in 2007 just looks defeated throughout the episode such an interesting charcter evolution, can’t wait to see how he responds to Sayids miraculous revival.
I don’t see how the events of LA X can be temporally sequential with what’s occuring in 2007 where all our familiar Lost crew currently are.
The events that occur in 2007 for the rest of the season can’t lead to what happens in LA X within the same timeline — that’s happening in 2004. The only reasonable explanation is that we’re dealing with a parallel reality, Sliders-style. The episode’s title, “LA X” (with the noted space between A and X), coupled with the writers’ insistence that the premiere would do away with time-jumping is enough evidence for me to suggest that these new 2004 events are happening in a different LA, an alternate reality a la Dimension X — what Ian said earlier.
So, that LA X reality branched off in 1970-whatever when Juliet detonated the bomb. We’re looking at that alternate possibility in the LA X storyline, where 815 never crashes, where the Island is flattened under the sea, where the nuke did apparently go off.
The puzzle for me is why the Dharma-era Lost crew was transported back to 2007. What we need is a further explanation of how Lost’s time travel logic works; our Dharma-era Lost crew seemed to be the only island inhabitants that jumped through time when the Wheel was dislodged, and they seem to be the only island inhabitants that were brought to 2007 when the nuke was detonated. It’s like they’re chained to their original time, and when Time doesn’t know where to put them when it’s fucked around with (say, during a violent space-time disruption like a nuke going off near the EM anomaly), it defaults displaced elements to their original era.
Juliet detonating the bomb creates the usual fun variation of the grandfather paradox. If it blows up, the Incident never happens, 815 never crashes, events never carry her and the 815 passengers back to 1970-whatever, so she can never be there to blow up the bomb. The common sci-fi answer to the paradox is the concept of the splintered-off parallel reality.
So you go back in time and kill your grandfather before you’re born. And then you ask, but how could I ever have then traveled back in time to kill him to begin with? Time’s answer (since the paradox can’t occur) is to allow both sets of events to happen in parallel realities. In your original reality, you go back, you kill your grandfather, and yet you continue to live, since that murder happened. It can’t un-happen.
It seems the Lost writers’ answer is to erase elements from the one original reality that would disrupt its timeline, allow it to carry on on its merry way (all the way to 2007), but let the consequences of that disruption play out in an alternate reality. I don’t see that there’s any other answer to why the nuke didn’t wipe out Juliet and every other member of the Lost crew now residing in 2007. It sounds an awful lot like a theory of timeline self-preservation that I read about awhile back. Wikipedia wins: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Novikov_self-consistency_principle
I mean, the nuke’s gone, right? But it definitely went off. The effects of that event just cannot play out in the main timeline/reality – so by this universe’s logic, another reality has to be created to allow the results to happen. And by the self-consistency principle, history can’t change in the original reality. Juliet won’t die from the nuke. No one will. Not in that reality. The nuke just, disappears. Whatever happened, happened. And what happened in the original timeline/reality, is that no nuke ever went off.
What’s most fascinating to me is that Juliet is aware that it worked; that somewhere, some-time, their plan to prevent the crash worked. That revelation reminds me of Desmond’s predicament, of a mind that’s either dislodged in, or able to see across space-time in ways other minds aren’t. That little conversation with James where it seems like she doesn’t recognize him briefly made me think her mind was traversing both realities for a moment. It was Desmond’s proximity to the EM explosion in season 2 that caused his mind to become dislodged in space-time; perhaps the same happened to Juliet?
I don’t even know if all of that made sense. I feel pretty confident that it did, but the rules of space-time according to Lost don’t have to comply with other sci-fi works. Things can continue to change, and probably will.
What I’m most interested in seeing now, is how and if these two realities will converge. I mean, by all rules set out so far, they shouldn’t, they can’t. But from the point of view of creating an entertaining story, everything we’re seeing has to matter and contribute to the overall bigger picture. We’re probably not going the Sliders-route and having Jack A meet Jack X, and so on. (or maybe we will — I mean, Ben pushed the magical polar-bear wheel of Narnia two years ago and moved the Island from wherever it was to the Bay of Bengal or some shit, so anything’s possible).
Maybe the result will just be heartfelt and thematic — we’ll have both realities play out all season, and watch the same characters deal with situations in two different, “what-if” scenarios, which would be kind of poetic if drastically different things were happening in the same episode to the same character in both realities. Say, a shot of Jack crying over the body of a crippled, and oh yeah, dead John Locke, cutting to a shot of John Locke walking out of the OR in LA X with a smiling Dr. Jack waving him goodbye in the background.
My head hurts.
I managed to completely forget about the supernatural element at play with Jacob and Facob — they’ll probably snap their fingers at some point with Hurley watching on, and unite all the disparate timelines, realties, quarks and leptons into one giant orgy of fun.
With polar bears.
The two things that bother me about the idea that Juliet’s nuke detonation didn’t cause the reboot are:
1) The nuke didn’t kill her or wipe out anyone on the island in their own timeline. It went somewhere.
2) She said (via Miles) that it worked. I don’t think we can dismiss that. I appreciate that Lost is always about mis-direction and different kinds of reveals than we expect, but that nuke did something. Miles jokingly alluded to the possibility of the nuke *causing* the Incident in the s5 finale, which in my mind, takes it off the table. It’s a much more interesting story idea to have the nuke neither cause the Incident, nor prevent it in the traditional sense. It did something else.
IMO LOL
Miles is a Ghostbuster.
Buddy, I want to do you.
Also, this is part of what I was going for in my post:
“The events that occur in 2007 for the rest of the season can’t lead to what happens in LA X within the same timeline — that’s happening in 2004.”
Exactly. I think what’s going on in 2007 leads to what happens in LA X in a completely different timeline. There’s no way that the stuff that went down in 2004 in the original timeline could simultaneously go down in the LA X timeline because, I don’t know, paradox or lactose intolerance or some shit. What it looks like to me is that the producers are jumping between timelines to make people think they’re happening at the same time, when I’d put money that what’s going down in 2007 timeline causes a reboot which begins the LA X timeline at that pivotal moment when 815 crashed. Or didn’t.
Whatever. Ian, let’s just watch Seinfeld instead.
So what’s the deal with calling it toast bread before it’s toasted, and just toast afterward?