So, about that new XBOX.

Only a week ago, Microsoft managed to enrage what seemed like the entire gaming sector of the internet with the announcement of the XBOX One. Now, for the non-gamers out there, the window-shopper if you will (otherwise why the fuck would you be reading this?) I should inform you that gamers, on the whole, are a fairly irrational bunch. Whereas most consumers can happily walk away from a product that just isn’t right for them, gamers – as part of their perpetual, existential quest – will desperately search for logic and some sort of conclusion as to why they shall not be purchasing the next new console. If anything, it’s almost as if we’re struggling to comprehend the idea that we’ve been told we can’t have the XBOX One: its list of baffling, anti-consumer ‘features’ being part of an effort to politely tell us to fuck off.

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Now this is a reimagining of the Ninja Turtles that I can get behind. Motherfuckers get busy thrashing Splinter, then they turn their sights onto infiltrating the Empire with the help of a whiny farm boy. Grab the princess, blow up the space station. Pizza for all.

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One of those times where I’m torn between what I really think, and my desire to get the community talking about awesome The Community would be if Dan Harmon came back. ‘Cause like, you know. There is no way this is actually happening. Right?

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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! This is the weekly entertainment call-to-arms hosted at OL! First, I’m going to share a short piece of fiction I’ve just unearthed from my brain with a caffeine-excavator. Then, I’m going to detail some of the ideas I have for entertaining myself into the weekend. Lastly, the final step of the MMC is for you to hit up the comments section and share party-agenda for the week!

This is pop-culture show-and-tell at its most unabashedly passionate.

Take a rip of your favorite beverage and go for it!

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The thing about Days of Future Past is that the production features roughly three-thousand actors. It’s massive like wut, like wut. So forgive me if I have forgotten that The King of Tits and Wine will be up in this movie as well. We have gotten a look at the aforementioned King, and he is rocking quite the impressive mustache. Sleazy, bitty-boning mustache.

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Fast & Furious 6 has suffered the glory of having the biggest Memorial Day weekend opening ever. Ever! Just think about that. Me? I’m fucking fine with it. In fact, I hope people read the news and begin uncontrollably vomiting all over themselves. I caught the film last night. Great fun. There was a time when the franchise took itself seriously, but with this latest installment it is clear they have lost their mind. Shitting on physics, bro-dude posturing everywhere. Gorgeous action sequences. Frankly, it’s everything I want in a popcorn flick. However, I may have lost my mind.

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[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the kal-if-fee that is the comments section]

It’s time for us to get emotional about science-fiction’s most beloved logician.

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This is a hell of a tale. A copy of Action Comics #1 was found in an old as fuck house, is worth more than the house, and was partially destroyed by in-laws. This one has it all folks.

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Adam WarRock has hung the official anthem of CALL OF DUTY dog for all of our listening pleasure. S’all good.

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The latest acquisition for some sort of asshole with too much money are the pants that Luke Skywalker wore while he and a bunch of terrorists were running around destroying Space-Stations in A New Hope. Them fuckers didn’t go cheap, either.

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