#February2013
Monday Morning Commute: Beasts & Smilers
This is Monday Morning Commute.
It’s been one of those interminable Mondays. The sort that strike during the deadness of winter, challenging me not to stick the gas pump up my ass while singing falsetto at everyone staring at me. The dumb, dank, dirty snow. The middle-finger flipping ashen sky. One of those Mondays when I have to write this little column, and unfortunately all I can muster is, “man, I’m pretty much not excited about anything.” Everything is dirty underneath my bitter little gums today. Here is a list of begrudgingly rustled things that I’m kind of, sort of, enjoying.
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The Ghosts of Oscars Past
It’s that time of year again. Yes, that’s right, friends: The Oscars are on tonight. After months of hyping and marketing, the award ceremony will finally give the nod to the best of the year’s best, what deserves to be remembered for all times as the cinematic apotheosis of this very year. Thanks to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, each and every movie that wins the Best Picture statue becomes a cherished classic, worthy of eternal glory. And in order to get you more in the mood for tonight’s telecast (and in case there’s any lingering doubt in your mind that the AMPAS sometimes makes the wrong choice), here’s a video chronicling the illustrious winners of Oscars past. Take a look after the jump.
Pointless Rumor: ‘STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC’ movie may be in works.
Listen, everyone else is talking about this rumor. Why shouldn’t we? God dammit! Why shouldn’t we? Especially since KOTOR means so much to me. When the game dropped ten years ago (TEN YEARS?!), it taught me an important lesson. At the time, I was in the depths of a deep sadness. Star Wars had sucked for two movies in a row, and I was convinced. Convinced that the entire fucking Star Wars Thing sucked. Along came KOTOR and sliced through that blanket of statement, proving that the Universe itself was ripe. No, no. Star Wars didn’t suck. George Lucas did. So it would be particularly fitting to me if the game that proved a Universe’s Worth in the darkest of hours was given the filmic treatment. I don’t think it will, but hey. Let’s pretend.
‘GAME OF THRONES’ SEASON THREE TRAILER: Holy f**k, dragons.
Yeah, I know there were dragons last season. But in this trailer, we totally get to see one doing dragon things. I cannot wait.
Dave Gibbons’ covers for ‘WATCHMEN’ #1-3 sell for almost $217,000. G’damn.
Dave Gibbons’ covers for The Watching-men, the comic adaptation of the Zack Snyder movie have sold for a ridiculous, ridiculous, ridiculous amount of money. I mean, the comic was all right. It wasn’t nearly as dope as the movie, but seriously what is?
Microsoft probably revealing NEW XBOX at an event in April. Retaliation ++
Sony has been the belle of the ball for the past couple of days, after revealing their PS4. Sure, a lot of the conversation around them is in regards to their lack of a console and all the such. Even with that, Microsoft has to be feeling a bit anxious to launch their own salvo. It word be true, that salvo shall be hitting in April.
Cosplay: CARDBOARD IRON MAN suits are stark lesson in awesomeness.
Get it? Stark? Yeah, whatever. There Iron Man suits are forged under the flame of cardboard. They wouldn’t stop a bullet, but would stop people at a comic convention. You know, because they will want to snap a picture with your hot ass.
Playstation: Episode IV – A New Hope
Perhaps I expect too much, or maybe I’m just not as connected to the world of contemporary gaming as I want to believe I am, but something about the reception towards Sony’s PS4 announcement strikes me as being particularly lukewarm. Sure, I’m old enough now to realise that the promises of seas parting and maidens flocking aren’t ever true, but I did expect a little more fan-fare than “well, it’s not completely shit…”
Beyond the lacklustre offerings of the Wii U and the PS Vita, or the lingering promise of something from Valve or Apple, gamers have little to feed upon lately. As the next generation begins to rise from the embryonic fluid of shadowy development houses we get to weigh up the merits of a blank canvas against the fear of unfulfilled promises. So, let’s join hands and embark upon this adventure together.
Watch: ‘SUPER MARIO BROS.’ final level done as first-person madness.
Brandon Laatsch wants you to believe a plumber can shit his pants. The good sir has crafted the final level of Super Mario Bros. 3 as a first-personal nightmare. The video highlights one of the grander moments of my childhood, as I was finally old enough to thwart the Rapey Lizard Bastard.
Ben Kingsley SWAGGING OUT as Mandarin in this ‘IRON MAN 3’ poster.
Ben Kingsley ball so hard, nothing matters. Just rocking out as the Mandarin. He isn’t a Joker analog. Or a Bane analog. Or something. Someone’s comeuppance totally isn’t coming.
