We now know when Nintendo’s next license to print money will arrive. Super Mario Run is hitting iPhone and iPad on December, running for a cool $9.99. There will also be a free version, apparently.
I don’t really spend my days wishing I could watch Netflix offline. That’s because I’m a console cowboy who would rather venture into the Atlantic Ocean permanently than subject myself to the horror of offline living. But I imagine the news that Netflix may soon be dropping such an option for the unwashed, offline masses will have some excited.
Not much to this teaser trailer for LEGO Jurassic World. But I imagine it’s enough to get those of You Folks who Get Excited for LEGO Games to…yeah, get excited and such.
Is it fair for me to pin the concept of superhero over-saturation on an X-Men TV show? Naw. Not at all. But I just can’t ignite the dribbling loins of excitement in regards to this development.
Summer is over. My system has ingested about as much Guardians of the Galaxy as it can handle (and then some, five viewings!). This means that it is time for me to begin gazing into the Fall and Winter release schedule. A schedule that holds a movie particularly kind to my crotch: Interstellar. Here’s a new TV IMAX spot.
I don’t really know what that headline means. Truthfully, I don’t really know what any of my headlines mean. Can I make it up to you? Offer you some compensation for suffering through my stupidity? I prostate myself before you and offer up this glorious Batgirl cosplay.
Elon Musk loves the sound of his own voice. I generally like the ideas that the sound of his voice produces. Drinking Space Vodka on Mars. The Hyperloop thing. Now flying cars. But like, does any of this shit ever come to pass? Ever?
Everybody, everybody, everybody with original content! Remember when companies started circumventing the cable behemoths? Started producing their own content? It seemed wonderful. Free from constraints! Cut the cords! Valhalla! Now I’m all like “Jesus Christ, what TV Show is on What Streaming Service, again?” I’m lazy, and this splintering is cutting into my attention-deprived psyche. But lord fucking knows, if it’s good, I’ll trot that way anyways.
Wooorrrddd. While the Big Bang may have given rise to like, all of this, our solar system is a bit more of homey place. I can just feel Sol-related news more. I mean, it’s probably — I don’t want to sound cynical but it’s probably — the only solar system I’ll ever call home. So news that they’ve captured 7 particles from its birth is pretty gnarly, man.
Amazon’s getting into the gaming business. We’ve sort of known that for a while. But like the sneaking suspicion that I caught herpes from that really good looking homeless dude behind 7-Eleven, the proof is in the cock sores. Listen, this metaphor worked in my head. Shh.
Hit the jump for more pictures. Some details. Stuff.