Hellblazer has been cancelled. Don’t worry, folks! It’s going to be stripped of its edge, declawed, and integrated into the DCU proper. This is so, so, so fucking dumb. No, hey. It’s cool. Dan DiDio is supremely proud of the title. This is why he has axed it, and is going to neuter the fantastic John Constantine. As an aside, if you haven’t read Garth Ennis’ ridiculous delicious run on the title, use this bad news to motivate you.
Northlanders getting axed was a kick to my he-clit. Not the sort of lovely one that follows me being tied up by my Jennifer Lawrence clone, and prior to the candle wax on my nipples. An unsolicited one. It is good news for me then, that Brian Wood intends on continuing Viking stories after the first Universe ended.
Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the funny book column at the end of the Internet. Or perhaps more specifically, at some abandoned asteroid-mining station spiraling into terminal descent. We here aboard the rickety ship don’t have much to comfort ourselves outside of the weekly comic book drop that comes courtesy of the spectra-gryphons sailing the solar waves. Drunk on cheap bathtub fermented moon juice and delusional from the vertigo, I admit my picks for worthwhile comic books can strike the bow a bit askew.
That’s where you come in, friends. Pull down the the blast shield long enough to bark out your finds in staccato bursts, before retiring to your dimly lit crevice in this here rotting rooster of a spaceship.
Don’t know what’s coming out? Pivot sharply and race down the cyber-wells towards the glowing info-cube. Comic List.
Hey friends! It’s time. Time to make the comic book list. I am endeavoring to craft this list amid a steady stream of flu-powered sweat dribbling down my dapper dome. Wipe, wipe, wipe my brow and then I continue soldiering on. Though I may be sickened even as tomorrow falls, I’ll take respite in knowing that I shall be sweating my grimy paws over some new funny books. Consider this my shamanistic powwow. I will share the titles that I hope shall pull me through my delirium. You follow up this vision quest by dropping the titles that you have staked out this week.
Don’t know what’s dropping? Hit up ComicList.
Weeks like this are a special treat. Fat off the flesh of animal and the oak sodas after celebrating Memorial Day, nary a moment has passed after returning to reality and it is already Comic Book Day. None the less, it is the finest of interstitial days, an Island of Relief in the middle of the work week. This is the inglorious column where we discuss the funny rags we’re snagging on a given Wednesday. Per usual this is a douche-free zone, and if my poor taste results in me not dropping a title you’re interested in, by all means alley-oop a recommendation.
Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
Ahoy, good friends and passive enemies. This is Caff-Pow, and I’m here to guide you on this most glorious of days. Wednesday. The day that new comic book arrives on shelves and in digi-places, offering those of us who subscribe to the paneled page a new dosage of our narcotic. Here in this column we all gather around and share the jams, joints, dosages, dopeness and other assorted nonsenses we’re buying this week. I’ll go first. It only seems fitting I show you mine before you show me yours. Not sure what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
Come one, come all into the rodeo of splash-page-ultra-narrative death. This is Comics We’re Buying This Week, the column where we gather in a neat circle and share the new funny books that are exciting us. It’s communal. Like the showers. Like the water fountain. I go first. Don’t lag behind. This week is replete with eccentric wunder-artists, premiere issues, and breast milk. It’s going to be fun.
Don’t know what’s coming out this week? Hit up ComicList. Excuses removed!
Variant Covers. This is the venue for me to wank to the comic books dropping in a particular week that I’m interested in. It’s generally capes heavy, because when I was younger I myself was heavy. As always, you folk are encouraged to share the shit you’re checking out this week. Peep the deets at ComicsList. It’s show and tell without the creepy Uncle and lollipops. Bummer about the lollipops, agreed.
There’s! There’s! There’s comic books dropping this week. As per every week, lest the Good Lords strike me dead. I can’t fathom living in a world without the weekly comic book shuffle. Snag the rags, dissect the diegesis and party until my pants come off. This is Variant Covers, the column where I blather about the funny books dropping this week that are keeping my sanity afloat.