Yo! Yo. Yup, I’m right back in. Dismissed this show after its sophomore diarrhea soup, but I’m back.

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I’m anything but an Alpha Male. In fact, SAM-OMEGA is definitely the Matriarch of our officially unified relationship. An Alpha Female, who is willing to punch down doors, and vaporize the Walls of Impossibility to get what she wants for her family and herself. This is perfectly okay to me. Every Batman (her) needs their trusty Robin (this dickhead). And so I’m looking forward to wasting the weekend away with her before she departs on Sunday for Alpha Female Business Trip #Something of the year. What are you up to the next couple of days? This is Weekend Open Bar, the weekly post where we share what we’re up to on our (hopeful) Siesta from the Grind.

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We get the world we deserve! Man. Reminds me so much of Jonathan Hickman’s general comic philoso-aesthetic that I have to fight the urge to crack open East of West.

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How do you top the COSMIC HORROR of True Detective‘s first season? I mean, there are myriad ways. But apparently Nic Pizzolatto is bringing an orgy into the mix for the show’s second season. Time is a flat orgy circle? Time is a flaccid circumcision? Something? Help me out, folks.

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Jesus Christ. Get yourself together, True Detective. Sure I’m excited that Rachel McAdams and Taylor Kitsch are joining the cast. But wasn’t this rumored months ago? Don’t you have things you should be doing at this point rather than making cast announcements? Like filming?

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Well shit we still don’t know the female lead for True Detective‘s second season, but at least we’ve got one casting confirmation. Colin Farrell has let slip he’s in the cast.

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Another day. Another round of True Detective rumors. Or are they just unsubstantiated facts? Is it only a rumor when it isn’t true? Is time really a flat circle? Will anyone make flowers on me? Where was I? Oh yeah! Elisabeth Moss! Maybe playing a role in the second season. Plus! Plot details and other casting news.

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None of these rumors are confirmed. I don’t find any of them particularly enormous. But none the less they shall be stuffed underneath under the break. Flock with me friends. Read the rumors. Time is a flat circle, but True Detective Season 2 anticipation can be a circle jerk. That ain’t clever, but hey I’m working with a limited capacity.

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