Fucking testosterone! Smash things! Fuck stuff! Guns! Muscles! Welcome to the Expendables 2 teaser trailer.
Bulletstorm is a game being co-created by Epic Games and Painkiller Studios. You may recognize Epic Games as being helmed by Ciffy B, or Dude Huge, who are a bastion of insanely jacked dudes fucking firing shit.
Bulletstorm seems more of the same. Same awesomeness.
You are apparently a drunk fucking space pirate who wants to fucking fuck shit the fuck up with fucking guns. It sounds ridiculous and amazing:
Bulletstorm tells the story of a futuristic confederation protected by an elite band of mercenaries: Dead Echo. When Dead Echo members Grayson Hunt and Ishi Sato learn they’ve been working for the wrong side, they’re betrayed by their commander and exiled to the far reaches of the galaxy. In Bulletstorm, Grayson and Ishi find themselves surrounded by hordes of mutants and flesh eating gangs in an abandoned paradise. They have two objectives: get off the planet alive, and exact revenge on the man who sent them there.
And you get fucking perks for the crazier fucking way you fucking kill shit:
The skillshot system rewards players for inciting mayhem in the most creative way possible. The more insane the skillshot, the more points players collect to upgrade their character and unlock weapons, which then allows them to execute even more creative moves and exaggerated skillshots.
This shit sounds like a haven for fucking testosterone and juvenile masturbatory fucking ridiculous absurdity kapow sweetness. It sounds like a fucking boner ejaculating missile rocket extravagance. Fuck yeah.
Shit fucking pops off tonight when Dude fucking Huge fucking debuts it. I’ll be in line fingering myself at the release of Splinter Cell: Conviction or else I’d be fucking watching it.