I thought The Shredder was in the first TMNT? And it was a white guy or something? I clearly have no idea what the fuck is going on in this franchise.
I’m going to level with you. I came up with the title before I watched the trailer because of Internet descriptions. Because you know what? This actually looks like it may be really fun in a completely dumb, absurd sort of way. I’m wavering on this flick, yo. WAVERING. Like. I know it looks dumb as sin. But maybe that’s okay?
This is Shredder from the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He looks like an idiotic piece of Transformers shit. Hit the jump to bask in true horror.
The official Marketing Gestapo behind the upcoming Teenage Mutant Childhood Killer (if you believe that — frankly I don’t know what the fuck to think) is putting out a direct-to-DVD documentary about the rise of the Mutated Ones. Will I buy it? No. Will I ride the High Seas to acquire it? NO. (Wink.)
Nothing is sacred, especially our childhoods. Plastic face’d Megan Fox. Slap-ass plastic Ninja Turtles. ‘Splosions.
Finally, my tax dollars at work on something I can get behind. The troops deserve the most delicious of foods, and I think it’s objectively proven that pizza is that food.
You know William Fichtner. He’s that guy. Plays a villain in a million different movies. Can’t remember what you’ve seen him in? Don’t worry. You’ve seen him, and enjoyed his performance. Unfortunately, I don’t know about this next one of his. Duder is going to be rocking the role of Shredder in the next Michael Bay Vomit Pile.
Rome is burning, folks. So is our childhood.