#March2016

First Look: The Shredder from ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows’

The Shredder

I thought The Shredder was in the first TMNT? And it was a white guy or something? I clearly have no idea what the fuck is going on in this franchise.

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‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows’ Super Bowl Trailer: No Sleep ‘Til Technodrome

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows’ Trailer: Oh Yeah This Franchise

‘TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES’ Trailer #2: DUBSTEPPING ON YOUR CHILDHOOD’S THROAT

TMNT

I’m going to level with you. I came up with the title before I watched the trailer because of Internet descriptions. Because you know what? This actually looks like it may be really fun in a completely dumb, absurd sort of way. I’m wavering on this flick, yo. WAVERING. Like. I know it looks dumb as sin. But maybe that’s okay?

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Shredder in the new ‘NINJA TURTLES’ movie looks like a dumb f**k face

Yup this is him.

This is Shredder from the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He looks like an idiotic piece of Transformers shit. Hit the jump to bask in true horror.

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‘Turtle Power’ Trailer: Teenage Mutant Ninja Documentary

das creatorz

The official Marketing Gestapo behind the upcoming Teenage Mutant Childhood Killer (if you believe that — frankly I don’t know what the fuck to think) is putting out a direct-to-DVD documentary about the rise of the Mutated Ones. Will I buy it? No. Will I ride the High Seas to acquire it? NO. (Wink.)

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‘TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES’ Trailer: A Totally Tubular Bowel Movement!

TMNT.

Nothing is sacred, especially our childhoods. Plastic face’d Megan Fox. Slap-ass plastic Ninja Turtles. ‘Splosions.

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U.S MILITARY develops PIZZA THAT IS EDIBLE FOR YEARS.

Pizza party, fuckers.

Finally, my tax dollars at work on something I can get behind. The troops deserve the most delicious of foods, and I think it’s objectively proven that pizza is that food.

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WILLIAM FICHTNER rocking as ‘SHREDDER’ in the MICHAEL BAY VOMIT PILE ‘NINJA TURTLES’ REBOOT.

This guy.

You know William Fichtner. He’s that guy. Plays a villain in a million different movies. Can’t remember what you’ve seen him in? Don’t worry. You’ve seen him, and enjoyed his performance. Unfortunately, I don’t know about this next one of his. Duder is going to be rocking the role of Shredder in the next Michael Bay Vomit Pile.

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First look at MEGAN FOX as APRIL O’NEIL. More like APRIL O’NO. LOL.

BARK AT THE MOON.

Rome is burning, folks. So is our childhood.

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