Last year, Spider-Man: Homecoming kicked off a trilogy of Marvel Studios movies that reinvigorated my love for the universe. Next year, the sequel to said movie is going to kick off the post-Avengers 4 MCU. And, we now know the fucking title! I can’t wait.

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The DCU has been getting its ass kicked by the MCU for years, friends. For years! So, they’ve done what many competitors do when they’ve been so thrashed. If they can’t compete with a competitor’s talent, they make it their own. The DCU has gone full Yankees, friends. And honestly, I’m actually excited by this news. I really, really enjoyed Homecoming.

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Spider-Nads? Bro, you even trying? (No, I’m not.) That said, I’m gladdened in said spider-nads (gladdening nads often exhibit signs of flush skin, tingling, and engorgement) at the news that the Homecoming writers will be returning for the sequel.

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What the fuck, Japanese Spider-Man: Homecoming poster. Haven’t you heard the fucking rules about movie posters? They’re supposed to suck diarrhea through a turd straw.

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It’s the Weekend Open Bar and goddamn am I happy to be spending it with you.

Long weeks seem to be relative, you know? Like cock size, intelligence, and the amount of pseudo-beef in our CancerBurgers™. So, despite the fact that I had Tuesday off (America, baby!) and today off (teaching schedule, baby!), I’m still heartened it’s the Weekend. I think most of my brain-gut-tumult this week was the result of Sam starting her new job. She was segueing from the former one, and acclimating herself to the new one.

A pervasive talent of anxiety is the ability to just straight fuckin’ OpticBlast that shit all over myriad elements of one’s own life. Money stressors? OpticBlast! Papers to grade? OpticBlast! Wife starting a new job? OpticBlast!

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Mondo. In case you ever feel down about the state of officially-produced posters for superhero movies, just know Mondo out here. Doing god’s work.

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I’m a sucker for the Fourth of July. Or at the very least, the notion of it. As someone who is both a recluse *and* has to fucking work on the 3rd and the 5th, I imagine I won’t be doing much literal celebrating. But, the holiday gets to me.

Maybe it’s the programming from growing up a KidBot during the end of the Cold War and into the Myth of a New Golden age, but I have to admit — there’s a twinge of excitement at the idea of Seared Flesh and American Flags.

It’s the sort of deep-seated, inextricable programming that pops up from time to time, attempt to defy it as I may. The same programming that has me unconsciously doing the Sign of the Cross during a Catholic wedding or some shit. Which, has happened, and as it happened I looked appalled at my own gestures like I had a fucking Ghost Hand.

So here I sit, melancholic for the old days when I Believe In Things, and Celebrated Stuff. So here I sit, melancholic for the days when folks used to come around these parts, and spend the Weekend Open Bar with me.

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It turns out that Spider-Man: Homecoming‘s sequel will be the first Marvel movie to hit post-Thanos Throwdown. Indeed, the flick is going to kick off Marvel’s Phase 4, and serves as a token for how much the Cinematic Universe has evolved. The character tasked with shepherding us through all the changes in the MCU after the climatic Avengers movies is himself a token to the evolution afoot, having not even been a part of Marvel’s repertoire when the MCU started.

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I’ve been assured, thanks to the copy written about this trailer by other sites, that this peak at Spider-Man: Homecoming is centered around the dope tech built into Spidey’s suit. I ain’t watching it myself, cause you know, god forbid I be surprised at the movie theater. Trying to get better at that.

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Here’s a couple new Spider-Man: Homecoming trailers, focusing on the surprising (or not?) presence of the Chitauri technology, and also some serious Stark tech.

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