#May2016
Report: Daniel Craig might have turned down $100 Million to return as James Bond
Daniel Craig, who has a shit load of money and fucking hates playing James Bond, might have turned down a shit load of money to return as James Bond.
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‘Her’ and ‘Interstellar’ cinematographer shooting Mendes’ ‘Bond 24’
Say what you will about Skyfall, I think we can at least agree it was fucking beautiful. So when word came out that cinematographer Roger Deakins wouldn’t return for Bond 24, frowns were understandable. However! Perhaps dry those tears, folks. ‘Cause a wonderful replacement has been found.
F**K ANXIETY: SAM MENDES likely directing NEXT TWO BOND FILMS.
Someone must have mashed-up some of my anti-anxiety meds, and put them in Sam Mendes’ mashed potatoes. The good sir has gone from being like “I want to puke when I think about directing another Bond” to likely helming the next two installments.
SAM MENDES not directing next JAMES BOND FLICK. I frown.
I’m the token Skyfall masturbator around here, and I don’t give a shit. No one likes it as much as me, and I generally accept their criticisms. Even with them acknowledged, the combination of Daniel Craig whupping ass and Sam Mendes’ gorgeous visuals had me sprung. So, it is with a heavy heart that I read this dispiriting news.
Now go bring in Christopher Nolan, MGM. Do it.
Monday Morning Commute: Tie Goes To The MARAUDER
My friends, welcome to the show. It’s been quiet around here at the Omega Level. For that I apologize. The past month has been a full-ass sprint towards the Grad School finish line. Due to this, I’ve all but dropped off the face of the Earth. I haven’t seen that son of a bitch Patrick Bateman since NYCC, and God knows without me keeping him in check he’s probably been returning a lot of video tapes. A lot of high school color guards being terrorized by a trench coat-and-smirk marauder. I haven’t even read a fucking comic book since August, folks. August. My life is a whirlwind, with only brief jaunts to the movie theaters and Borderlands 2 giving me respite.
Soon though! Fucking Thursday, this 50-page beast will be turned in. Then I’ll be able to relax. A bit.
This is Monday Morning Commute, the column where we diddle and jack it to the activities and loves that are getting us through this week. What are you degenerates digging at the moment? ATM? Ass to mouth?
‘SKYFALL’ US POSTER has Bond sliding around on his ass. Dude, get up. Them some expensive pants.
New poster for Skyfall, with Danny Craig totally scuffing up his knickers. C’mon man!
DANIEL CRAIG and his abdominal muscles sign on for two more BOND flicks.
Good news for people like me who enjoy seeing Daniel Craig’s sausage sloshing around in bikini briefs between scenes of him punching people. Homeboy has signed on for at least two more Bond flicks. Wee!
‘SKYFALL’ TRAILER: Bond’s abs, guns, seduction, and Javier Bardem’s wonky face.
Cyeah! Here’s the full trailer for Skyfall. It’s got everything you’d expect from Bond. Senseless violence. Senseless seduction. Him trapped to a chair while a villain monologues.
‘SKYFALL’ TEASER TRAILER: James Bond Doing James Bond Things.
This teaser trailer for Skyfall is pretty much in line with everything I’ve come to associate with the Daniel Craig Bond films. It’s gorgeous, with a smattering of explosions and sexuality, and not really clear in terms of plot. I can’t wait.
‘SKYFALL’ TEASER POSTER: It’s Uh, James Bond. Walking And Stuff.
Oh snap! It’s a totally nondescript teaser poster for Skyfall which to the undiscerning eye could pretty much be a poster for any of the Craig-powered Bondie flicks.
