Back in the day, Sega didn’t give a fuck. It was high on cocaine and blast processing, throwing money at men, women, and new console iterations. One of those iterations that never saw the light of day was the Pluto, a Sega Saturn with built-in online capabilities. ‘Cause that used to be special. Now a prototype of this little pig has hit the internet.
Confession time: I missed last week’s article for three incredibly valid reasons.
- Borderlands 2
- A stealth hangover (seriously did not see the bastard coming)
OK, I possibly invented the third one, but still one and two are still pretty solid. Now, do you see the validity? Absorb it. Forgive me and then let’s move on. I’m about to hit you with such an incredibly powerful fistful of gaming news and titillation that you’ll wish I’d finally eaten myself into that early grave.
Dear Sega. If this isn’t a tease for an HD version of NiGHTS: Into Dreams, I’m going to cut you.
I don’t give a fuck about Shenmue or its sequel. I don’t. I know that deducts like, a zillion space-bucks from my e-peen, but whatever. So this news doesn’t do anything for me. However, there’s a lot of people that are going to be simultaneously joyous and apopleptic about this shit. If the rumors in the streets are true, Sega has been sitting on HD versions of Shenmue 1&2 for a year. Biding their time. Waiting.
It’s difficult to review Binary Domain without getting caught up in the history of third-person cover shooters and how they are typically defined by western developers. Just for you though, I’ll refrain. After all, why would you want to hear my ramblings over how lackluster Gears of War 3 was, or how Quantum Theory is one of the worst games ever spawned from Satan’s shitty asshole? All you need to know is that Binary Domain is one of the most surprisingly entertaining and rewarding games I’ve played in years.
Nuh-uh. You can’t trick me. Sonic has let me down consistently for a decade. I thought it was going to be back with Sonic 4, and then even that sucked. So the fact that Sonic Generations has pre-sales like a mofuckah’? Don’t mean a thing.
I never played the Sega Master System. It’s one of the few consoles my childhood spoiled ass never touched. Now is my chance! I can taste it. For $5,000, I can own the whole fucking schbang.
Sega’s announced their next Sonic game that will at first get you excited, and then ultimately let you down, ‘Sonic Generations.’ The pig is celebrating the 20th anniversary of Sonic, and it’s going to be a hybrid of old school gameplay and the more modern Sonic Adventure type bullshit.
Hit the jump for details, as well as the first gameplay video.
French artist Ozcan rocked out a Dreamcast with a gorgeous Jet Grind Radio customization. God, I miss the days of Dreamcast, and JGR. I spent far too many hours lighting bullshit up with spray cans and bobbin’ my head to Jurassic 5 et others.
Hit the jump for the dude’s gorgeous customization.
You know, if fucking Sonic 4 wasn’t announced and looking beyond super-gorgeous-time, I’d be bitter as fuck watching this video. But given the state of affairs, and that Sega may finally have gotten it, it just gives me a chubby for gaming lore, and geeks.
A dudebro who goes by the name of BlobVanDam recreated Sonic & Knuckle’s Mushroom Hill Zone in widescreen 2.5D awesomeness. It’s like peering into a manifestation of everything I’ve wanted out of a Sonic game since 1999.
At 47 seconds, it’s far too short. Just enough to get the parts a bit slushy with gaming lust, and then, done. Hit the jump to check out the video.