#May2014

MILES MORALES joining ‘ALL-NEW X-MEN’ First, how? Second, awesome.

Miles Morales.

Miles Morales – my one and true Spider-Man – is somehow joining the All-New X-Men. Which answers the question, “What could finally get Caff-Pow to read All-New X-Men?” In truth, our own Johnny Hotsauce has finally shoved me onto the precipice of reading it anyways. But now, I’m diving off the ledge! I’m not particularly certain of the mechanics that’ll bring Morales to the proper Marvel Universe. I also don’t particularly care.

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Marvel teaming up EVERY SPIDER-MAN EVER in ‘SPIDER-VERSE.’ K.

Spider-Verse.

Crisis on Infinite Spider-Verse! In October, Marvel along with Dan Slott with Olivier Coipel will be dropping the thickest batch of Spider-Load you can imagine. All sorts of fucking Spider-Guys fighting stuff! In fact — all the goddamn Spider-Folk. So while I generally wouldn’t check out a Spidey event, the return of Parker combined with Coipel handling the artwork has me intrigued.

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Marvel announces POST-CATACLYSM ‘ULTIMATE’ line-up. MAKE MINE MORALES.

Ultimates.

Fuck yeah! If the Ultimate universe lives, I’m glad this is the form its taking. Everyone and their dumb brother seems ruined by Galactus, leaving Miles Morales to pretty much run the fucking show. I love it. I love it!

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ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN Miles Morales DEFINITELY COMING to regular MARVEL U. Lame.

Miles Morales.

Miles Morales was really neat because he was a half-Hispanic, half-African American who was the Spider-Man of the UMU. Well, now he’s coming to the regular Marvel U. And he’ll be just one Spider-Person among a deluge of clones, dumb asses, Doc Ock, and others. This has me significantly bummed.

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MYSTERIO Is The Villain For Marvel’s ‘SPIDER-MEN’. Pshaw, Miles Got This.

Marvel wants you to know the villain that’ll have Miles Morales and Peter Parker joining together for one vicious Spider team. Or rather as I see it: the villain that Morales is going to have to save Parker’s dumb ass from. Mysterio! Boom!

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PETER PARKER and MILES MORALES To Meet In ‘SPIDER-MEN’. Oh Marvel.

Well, it’s happening. The Ultimate and 616 universes are somehow interacting, an event that Joe Quesada once said would only happen when Marvel was out of ideas. Which you know, makes it seem like perfect sense that its happening now.

Details and artwork after the jump.

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‘SPIDER-MEN #1′ Comes This June From Marvel. NOTE THE PLURAL.

Marvel’s announced uh, something, in the vein of Spider-Men #1  arriving this June. At least I was all “If those fucks get rid of Miles Morales I will literally cut them”, but then I noticed something…it isn’t the Ultimate universe.

Hit the jump for the promo and speculation.

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Monday Morning Commute: Dyin’ to Sleep

Come one, come all! Step right up to the original MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the place where all of you scabby bastards and frothing broads take a peek at what I’ll be doing to get through the workweek. Your task is to then share the activities to which you’ll be dedicating your free time, even if they make your step-mom mumble to herself that you’re doing the Devil’s bizznezz.

Hell, that hoe married your pop for his thickee, so who is she to cast aspersions?

Let’s dance.

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Multiethnic Spider-Man Is Awesome.

A brief story. This week I was on Google+ for one of my rare visits. There’s nothing going on in there. Tumbleweeds and picture spam. Browsing, browsing. Eventually on my barren News Feed, something caught my eyes. It was a picture my friend posted of an Ariel from Little Mermaid from a coloring book. Ariel was colored in black. I suppose brown is more precise. My friend said something to the extent of “The majority of Disney’s characters are white, so I do what I can for my daughter”, a daughter who is half-white, half-black. All awesome, given her parents.

I thought to myself, that sucks. A couple days later Marvel dropped on the world Miles Morales. He’s the new Spider-Man for Marvel’s Ultimate universe. He’s also half-black, half-Hispanic and fully pants-shitting for the closeted white people out there in the world who think everyone with a skin tone is coming for our tax money, our educational system, and our hospitals.

I think Miles Morales is awesome.

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