#November2013

Playing ‘SUPER MARIO 64′ makes YOUR BRAIN BIGGER. YEAH, SCIENCE.

Fuck wit dis.

Man. No wonder when I was thirteen I could remember every creature in the Cantina, recite lines from my favorite books, and generally have a more cogent experience drifting through the world. I played Super Mario 64 all fucking day.

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COMPUTER can READ LETTERS DIRECTLY FROM YOUR BRAIN. Game Over, Man.

INCEPTION HORNS.

This is either terrifying game-over material, or the lube you’ve been looking for to stroke your cyberpunk bits with. A group of scientists Daring to Approach the Lords have concocted a way to read letters. Directly from your fucking brain.

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HUMAN TOOTH grown using STEM CELLS taken from PEE. Discuss.

Jaws.

Yeahhh, boi! Getting some fucking teeth grown. Which is very, very good for me. I can literally feel my teeth rotting out of my head. Stem cells from pee? Stem cells from anything, just get me new chompers.

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This machine can SEQUENCE A GENOME in two days. Science is good.

Marvel at the Future, friends. Wrap your arms around it, for it is here. This wunder-machine is capable of sequencing the genome of new born babies in a mere two days. Mind-boggling stuff.

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Scientists create ARTIFICIAL JELLYFISH from a RAT’S HEART. Yeah, science!

One day some brilliant biophysicist was hanging out at the New England Aquarium when he thought something I would have never dreamed. Dude said to himself, “I can build a jellyfish”, whereas usually I’m like “man…the fish, they like, swim. Really well.”

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The FDA has approved the first drug proven to HELP PREVENT HIV infection. Say, word?

Key phrase: “help prevent” HIV infection.

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This Camera Can Detect Cancer Cells In Real Time. Yeah, Science!

I don’t know if it’s going to be prostrate cancer, or Diet Dew-chemicals induced brain cancer that knocks me off the top rope. I don’t know which one shall do it. However, I’m glad that there’s all sorts of wonderful medicinal technological wunder-things arriving into the world to screen my dumb ass when the day comes.

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Tiny Human Liver Grown Inside MOUSE’S HEAD. Progress Is Odd.

We have grown a fucking liver inside a mouse’s head. Vaulting with reckless abandon over scientific rubicons.

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Breast Milk Seems To Kill HIV; Fetishes Suddenly Justified

Breast milk. Now I’m most familiar with it through late night fetish videos and silently cursing myself and my predilections. Now however, I can know it as a possible…cure for HIV. Wut?

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Scientists Create SYNTHETIC SYNAPSE; The Rubicon Has Been Shit On.

There’s been a breakthrough in the development of synthetic synapses, and it’s a goddamn privilege that I even get to type that sentence. We’re flying head first into the future, folks. What is even more impressive is that soon that head is going to be cyber-nano-non-organic.

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