The company that made the 1984 advertisement back in the day is doubling down on creepy future-tech. That’s right, Apple has bought the folks who made Microsoft’s original Kinect. And now there ain’t nothing holding back the Steve Jobs-nanobody robopocalypse.
The XBONE song and dance is a curious one. Full of twists, turns, pirouettes and shit. The latest little move in this tango is the announcement that the Xboner does not require a Kinect to be plugged in to operate. Which is sort of neat, but also like sort of “how about you don’t fucking force me to buy it then”, right? Definitely giving credence to the rumors that 2014 shall see a Kinect-less version of Microsoft’s next console.
It’s a confusing fucking start to E3′s flagship channel of coverage, Spike/GTTV.
A Vita world premiere that amounted to an esoteric Japanese handheld bore that looked like a war of icons and numbers?
Rare’s return to the centre stage to show off a new Kinect Sports?
We can all hope this is all just ancillary padding to the main events – the first of which is Microsoft’s XBox Media Briefing at 12:30pm EST – which are primed to be as packed full of goodness as they ever have been.
Today is the day the big hitters – MS, EA, Ubisoft and Sony – speak to the gaming press, the gaming population and the public at large about their plans for entertainment for the next 5-7 years. Make it good kids! The world’s watching.
What are you all excited for this E3?
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.
Skynet is upgrading its wares, infiltrating the next generation of Kinect sensors and the shit. Soon it will be able to accurately track the motions of your hand as you masturbate. Despite turning the system off, the camera will be on. Aware. Recording your furry habits.
The Xbox/Kinect bundle for $99 that the entire gaming internet speculates up on last week turns out to be real. The catch, the answer to how it can be peddled for such limited ducets, has also been revealed.
Back in February I pointed all your goggle-eyes towards a Skyrim Sizzle Reel that displayed what the developers would love to add into the title. One of the joints in the sizzle reel were flying dragon mounts. That was awesome. Another was stupid fucking Kinect support. That was dumb. I am bitter. Can you guess which one is actually getting implemented?
This is just the friggin’ berries right here. Using a Kinect and a transparent 3D display, gurus over at the Micro-soft have created a concept PC that would let you manipulate apps with your hands in a 3D space. Minority Report ++!
Hit the jump to check it out.
Listen, let’s all calm down with bringing the Skynet Cylon revolution into our fucking grocery stores. Well, anymore than it already is. I mean, laziness is good and all. I get it. You want to be fat. You want to ride your scooters around Walmart while you buy shit you don’t need. That said, we need to draw the line somewhere. I’m drawing it at having a Kinect-enabled Fascist Robot Shopping Cart point out when you’re buying the wrong spaghetti.
Hit the jump for more info, and the horror.