#August2013

APPLE patents tech that would let the government DISABLE iPhone camera, video, wireless.

Obey! Big Brother!

Well isn’t this neat! Ain’t nothing like being in the middle of a protest, or you know, a Nickleback concert when all of a sudden The Man shuts down your ability to document something very gnarly. Like all ill-nasty Chad Kroeger solo. Right? I mean, that’s all we have to worry about.

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HOUSE passes PRIVACY-HATING CISPA by enormous margin. BIG BRO CACKLES.

Big Brother.

Like I said before. It is time for me to take my latex fetishes and furry orgy requests to carrier pigeon. The days of the Wild Wild Internet (if it ever truly existed) is certainly fading with stunning alacrity. Today the House passed CISPA by a considerable amount, and now it is up to Barry Obama to strike the son of a bitch down. (But let’s be honest, the death of Internet freedom is being shoved down our throat no matter how much we gag.)

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CISPA passes committee, the old BIG BROTHER INTERNET BILL heads to the House floor.

Big Brother.

In case you’re wondering, friends: your dumb fucking privacy and freedom are never going to be worth more than money oozing out of the tentacles of lobbyists.

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United Arab Emigrates outlaws online criticism of government. Rookies!

C’mon now, UAE. You a rookie to the whole dumbing down the public thing? Let them have their fun on the Internets. Throw some reality television the public’s way. Get them fat on processed food. The worst thing you can do is outright take away their expression. Bread and circuses, yo.

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PRIME MINISTER totally admits the government illegally bugged KIM DOTCOM

Kim Dotcom’s life continues to resemble one of bloated wonderment. The arrogant Internet maestro and source of general amusement was illegally bugged. And the prime minister is admitting it. Tremendous.

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The PHILIPPINES BANS cybersex? I don’t…I can’t…This doesn’t…

I don’t think I would have turned out to be the sterling example of mental stability if I hadn’t gotten to cybersex for hours as an adolescent. AOL chat rooms, IRC, I don’t give a fuck. Male, female, role playing a furry. Don’t matter. Give me. Now that fine country the Philippines wants to bane such an essential part of growing up.

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Microsoft Invests In Russian Company That Kills BitTorrent Traffic. Ah, F**k!

There’s a Russian start-up out there called  Pirate Pay that wants to take your porn and music from you. Using some sort of nefarious (or is it heroic?) method, they can kill BitTorrent streams. Such a skill assuredly attracts those who are interested in protecting their wares, and Microsoft would certainly fit the bill.

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White House Says Obama Will Definitely Veto CISPA. Word?

Word out of the White House is that President Obama will veto CISPA. At this point though, I’m not certain that shit even matters. Hard to imagine the Determined Parties not soldiering on, continually throwing spaghetti until some of it sticks.

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UK Internet Providers Must BLOCK PIRATE BAY; They Offer Workaround.

Ain’t this a kick to my friends in the UK. The High Court has come down with the decision to require all UK internet providers to block The Pirate Bay, in an attempt to deprive an entire peoples of free copies of Adobe Photoshop. Thankfully where there’s a will, there’s a way.

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Iran’s “HALAL INTERNET” Becoming A More-Ambitious Part Of Current Censorship Regime.

I’ve been spitting articles at you lately concerning Iran and its desire to create its own intranet cut off from us diabolical Western bastards with our (illusions) of democracy and Coca Cola. Turns out, Iran ain’t going to be pulling that off any time soon. Instead they’re just doubling over on their current censorship.

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