Friends, it looks like God of War is fucking delayed. We sort of all assumed that, right? Given the pandemic and lack of a release date this deep into 2021. However, the way has been confirmed is a bit wild. It was just sort of fucking slipped into a Q&A with Hermen Hulst on their official blog. Gaming journalist Jason Schreier took note on twitter.

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Anyone who has been around OL for a good amount of time (coming up on ten fucking years) knows that I absolutely abhor fucking “best of lists” with a fury. They’re divisive, inflammatory, and lead to bickering and bitching. That said, anyone who has been around OL for a good amount of time also knows that I love cultivating a community wherein we can share dope shit. With that preposterously verbose preamble in mind, I’d like for us to gather and share our Favorites of 2018.

The fashion and function of this motherfucker is to share what we really, really enjoyed this year. As a means to reminisce and share your faves with people who have potentially missed these sweet, sweet thangs. Additionally, it’s a space for others to share their fucking faves that you may have missed. I by no means consider myself to have good taste or particularly incisive insight (especially since I’m rushing to get this out before NYE dinner), so take or leave this list! But, please, please share what you’ve enjoyed in the comments.

There were my favorites of 2018.

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Salutations, fellow denizens of the Space-Ship Omega. It is I, your over-caffeinated, mentally-compromised captain! Why, when I’m not hurtling us into the gaping maw of echo-chamber buffoonery, talking about my own dick (and how it pumped, oh did it pump for the Doom Eternal gameplay), and generally embarrassing myself, I like to open up the Open Bar on the weekend! I know, oh do I know. I’m infrequent these days. Apologies all around. Here, here. Take a moist, poorly-wrapped candy from my pocket. Here, here. Take an I.O.U, redeemable for approximately one brutal high-five and chest-bump.

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Bet you thought you had seen the last of me, fuckers! It’s been a hot minute since I cranked out one of these Monday Morning Commute columns. I’ve returned, though. Full of vim and vigor, ready to golly gee knock this one right out of the fucking park! The fahhhkin’ pahk, kehd! Actually, that’s a handful of goose shit. In fact, I was laying on the futon in my office nary two hours ago just fucking zoning out, man. But here we are.

I’m still sucking wind, thankfully. My summer course is winding down, thankfully. And, OL still exists. Thus, it seems clear that I must carry out the car-crash that is the column! Give you folks, you fucks, the ole rundown of what I’m up to this week. You know, the games I’m playing. You know, the books I’m reading. That sort of tomfoolery.

Then, if you’d be so obliged, join me in the comments section! Tell me, what you’re cranking it to this week. Be it literally, be it figuratively! Both!

I’ll go first.

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Welcome to Weekend Open Bar, my friends!

I’m not dead, not sad, just busy these days my friend! That said, I apologize! How the fucking fuck have you fucking folks been? Me? I feel eerily content. Not euphoric which is rare, not happy which is fleeting, but generally content. I can’t explain it. Or, rather, I suppose I can. Teaching is fantastic, my diet is good, I’m getting a lot of sleep and exercise, and by god, I swear it, yoga fucking works.

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If I’m being honest, I’ve been staring at this fucking blank text box for about a half-an-hour. Intermittently, I’ll hop on tumblr, stare at some asses, and pop back. Waiting, you see, for something to say. But, I don’t have anything! Not today. No friends, no way. I suppose I could prattle on about how I’m happy it’s the Weekend. So fucking happy, too.

So fucking happy, too, despite the fact that it was a short workweek. However, I think this happiness stems from the fact that I genuinely despise my job these days. Not the teaching part. That’s fucking fantastic. Rather, the other miscellany I must put myself through to pay the bills, because the life of an adjunct is tenuous at best. I don’t know! I don’t, seriously. I exist in a weird liminal state these days. I’m between teaching in the Spring, and teaching my summer class. As well, I’m between the Spring semester I just taught, and figuring out what I’m going to do next Spring.

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If pain is part of the path, I’m fucking crushin’ it, my dudes! I’m a real fucking pathfinder! Just dinging into things, physically, emotionally, and existentially! Bumping my shins, cursing loudly! But, I’m also doing deec as the kids say. Said! Probably said a long time ago. And, I’m here with you, my VirtuaFriends.

Spending some time in Monday Morning Commute! Showing you what I’m looking forward to this week! What I’m interested in. What I’m enjoying.

I hope you’ll share your own happenings and hype-beasts in the comments!

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It’s the weekend open bar!

I know it’s a day late, but it’s a long weekend, so it all comes out in the wash? I hope? How are you fuckers doing today? This weekend? More importantly, what are you fuckers doing today, this weekend?

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Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! ‘Cause it’s the weekend! Let’s get weird, motherfuckers! Cause it’s the weekend, and it’s the twentieth of April! You know! That day. That probably means nothing to you!

But that said, this week it’s the Weekend Open Dispensary! Ha, get it?

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Holy fuck! God of War is hitting the PlayStation 4 soon. Like, way soon. Like, April. Man, I had no idea it was dropping with such immediacy, but goddamn I’m stoked.

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