#April2016

‘Borderlands 3’ confirmed to be Gearbox Software’s next game

Borderlands 2.

I have been patient. Coming up on four years patient for a proper sequel to one of my favorite games of all time, Borderlands 2. As a reward? Nothing. Silence. A crappy spin-off game. And silence. But that is about to change, I guess. Borderlands 3 has been confirmed to be Gearbox’s next game. And while I don’t think the game will be arriving anytime soon, just to see it acknowledged, just to see it acknowledged as coming gets me excited.

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3D Realms and Gearbox settle ‘Duke Nukem’ legal dispute, with Gearbox keeping rights. They…want the rights?

Duke Nukem

The last Duke Nukem game, was by all accounts, a steaming pile of game-turd that would have been better off staying vaporware. But that didn’t stop Gearbox (the uh, privileged company who finally got to publish said turd) and 3D Realms from fighting over the rights to the probably-should-be-dead franchise. After much wrangling (or settling?), Gearbox has emerged the owner.

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‘Borderlands’ franchise director leaving Gearbox

Borderlands 2.

The Exodus of High Profile Franchise directors continues. Borderlands is the latest series to loose their Hive-Mind Figurehead.

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‘Tales from the Borderlands’ Episode 2 Trailer: Atlas Mugged, I Moaned

How the fuck did this come out of PAX Koala Edition (#reductiveappreciationofharmfulculturaltropes) and I didn’t see it? Telltale Games and Gearbox have dropped a trailer for the second episode of Tales from the Borderlands. And boy, oh boy, my body is ready.

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‘Borderlands’ Non-News: Gearbox recruiting for the next game

Borderlands!

Listen. If I can cop to Star Wars non-news, I can admit that this shit is not news as well. But I fucking love Borderlands, and I want a proper third installment almost as badly as I want a fourth Fucking Fallout (and Mass Effect).

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‘Borderlands’ Creators Reveal New IP ‘Battleborn’ Plus Trailer!

Battleborn

The minds behind My Favorite Franchise Of The Last Gen (Maybe, Maybe Not, Whatever) have revealed their next game. And like we all knew ahead of time, it ain’t Borderlands 3. The joint is called Battleborn and it’s been labeled a “hero-shooter.” While I’m sure I will enjoy this game to an extent, a) I don’t really know what the fuck hero-shooter means, b) the art design ain’t my speed, and c) I want Borderlands 3. None the less, I trust the group to deliver compelling gameplay. And ain’t that what this shit is all about? What do you all make of this?

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‘BORDERLANDS 3’ isn’t being made right now. F**ks**ta**

Borderlands 2.

C’mon, Gearbox Software! Fuck you, fuck your new IPs. You’re not working on Borderlands 3 right now? You need to. Don’t misunderstand me. I need you to. It keeps the glue in my blood-brain barrier from dissolving, which will let the omni-slugs into my rotting-piece.

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‘TALES FROM THE BORDERLANDS’ TRAILER: Everybody wants to HUNT VAULTS

Tales from the Borderlands trailer.

Never mind my hesitation. All it took was a trailer to make me loot-moan. My vault is ready to gape open for this goodness,

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‘BORDERLANDS 2’ LAUNCH TRAILER: Everything is handsome, nothing hurts.

‘BORDERLANDS 2’ golden key dares you to use it. Early. Often.

I’m not really sure if I’m getting a golden key with my copy of Borderlands 2. I ordered the most expensive copy I could find on Amazon, so if it I’m not getting it, I got fucked. The conceit behind the key is pretty awesome, and one that I quietly am hoping I can exploit to my own wonderment.

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