NASA is funding a 3D food printer, folks. Coupled with dietary experts from’Murica, the aim is to get cheese poofs and pizza into the gullets of astronauts. And eventually the world. (This is actually all sorts of amazing.)
Props to frequent member of the community Cacophonous Kevos for bringing this to my attention. A bar out in Seattle has already banned Google Glass. You know, the AR glasses that aren’t really out in the public yet. Their reasoning works on a certain level, but I can’t get behind it. We need to embrace the disembracement of the flesh-sac! C’mon, folks. Let us transcend this mortal bodies. Or at least be allowed to wear glasses so we can stare at bums on tumblr in our tech-goggles whilst drinking a pint. Right?
Science Wizards know us, and our swollen geek glands. They know how to tenderly massage these glands, while whispering things. What do they coo? Many, many sweet nothings. One of my favorite barely audible murmurs that they hang on me is “we’re making it all come true, all come true!”
Welcome to the future, flunkies. The US Supreme court is getting a case in which they’re essentially deciding whether or not human genes are patentable. I think. That’s what my fat head gleaned from this story, but I was also half-covered in peanut butter. Sitting on the toilet. Reading it on my iPhone.
Well, this is one way to test drugs and study head injuries and the such. Create a bunch of living cells on a chip! Yeah man. And when those cells go sentient, mutate, and clone themselves a body, I want to be the one that gets to yell “told you so, you fucks!”
I’m all for progress. Science. Medicine. Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know how I feel about unleashing a robotic snake in my body, even if that swag is under the guise of eradicating tumors. Eh, who the hell am I kidding. I’d probably get off on it. I’m freaky like that. How you doing?
Forever is a long time. It’s at least two lifetimes, maybe three. Scientist wizards have been contemplating what to do with the fact that all data decays, and that nothing seems to last forever. Forever! Now with some fancy glass thing, they may have circumvented data mortality.
I have no idea how the fuck this would happen, but I’m leaving that to the Internet Wizards. Please free me from the burden of remembering fifteen different logins across social networks, porn websites, and academic nosense. I beg you. Get it done Bray, you son of a bitch.
Didn’t these fucking scientists see Rise of James Franco’s Wild Fucking Apes? Sure, sure. Give these monkeys brain implants. Next thing you know we’re all going to have our faces eaten off as the Great Culling of 2013 unleashes itself upon the world. Shit. Don’t say we didn’t have it coming, I guess.
I don’t care that this is speculative nonsense, aiight? It is still fun as sheezy to think about. Recreating a suspect’s face from their DNA? Why, it is just the sort of Police State Wet Dream that The Man totally works their prostrate to.