Star Wars fans, go ahead and tug your bits to this rumor. It’s designed to titillate all your various nerd glands. There ain’t any shame, I promise. Draw the blinds, and get slushy in your pantaloons. Lawrence fucking Kasdan! Oh, and some other guy too.
I go down for a nap, and I wake up in this world. I’m not certain I haven’t slid through dimensions. Who are you fucking people? No serious, what the fuck? This is surreal. I’ve always said it: theStar Wars universe rules. I’ve said it to countless people across two conventions. If Disney can field a talented bunch for Episode 7 (and provided it is happening), this could be tremendous. Or it could be another dry, spiked dog dick penetrating my childhood without consent.
What’s your take?
Summer 2012 has blown through the nerd universe with a thunderous fury, and OL rode the wave to its first major convention appearance. We rocked FanExpo Canada in Toronto, home of yours truly, and generated some fantastic buzz on the show floor.
The essential blow-by-blow follows. Brace yourselves.
Come one, come all! This day’s been in the making for longer than we’d like to admit, but it’s finally here! Today, we officially open the OL STORE!
We’ve taken the same overcaffeinated, slightly-delusional, fun-lovin’ panache we put into our posts and smeared it all over some t-shirts. The result? Nerd-culture t-shirts that’re bound to inspire conversation wherever you go – the supermarket checkout line, the watering hole of your choice, or your weekly D&D session.
Round One of the great OL STORE battle royale sees eight different designs climbin’ into the ring. Hit the jump to hyperspace, grab an ice-cold Pepsi, and check out our wares!
Did you think Lucas started smashing the original trilogy into bits starting back with the Special Editions in 1997? You’d be wrong. I knew he had tinkered before, but I never realized the shit began back the year of its actual release.
Hit the jump to check out all the changes.
Ah well whatever what the fuck! This is fucking madness. Lucas has truly pulled down his pants and gleefully, happily shit out kernels of hate and comeuppance for us fans daring to point out that the prequels sucked. Now he’s just changing shit. It’s amazing. Like the bored fat fuck he is. He’s added more X-Wings to the Jedi Death Star run. Okay. Whatever. Needless but fine.
Also?
Now in A New Hope, R2D2 is hiding better behind rocks. Oh, and Jabba’s Palace’s door looks massive. And pointless.
Fuck all this noise.
Hit the jump to see it all in motion.
We all know George Lucas sucks. Why do we continually bitch about it out loud? Because it’s therapeutic. The dude has gone and changed the Yoda in The Phantom Menace from a puppet to full CGI for the upcoming Blu-Ray release of his trilobortion and the maimed version of The Trilogy.
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