Posts Tagged ‘Friday Brew Review’

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Friday Brew Review – Evan Williams Honey Reserve

Friday, March 19th, 2010

Evan Williams Honey Reserve

If you’ve ever stumbled onto OL on a Friday night, you probably know that I am in love with beer. It’s a wonderful substance, with its bubbles and slight bitterness and ability to make even Gallagher seem funny. If the human race was even half as well-rounded as beer, the world wouldn’t be full of so many assholes.

In other words, beer is my Friday drink of choice, the chief resident of Partyville Krueger.

But alas, it’s also important to remember that variety is the spice of life. And the fact of the matter is that I want to spice up my life. So tonight, I’m not drinking beer!

Cool your jets, I’m still going to get blasted. In spite of Caffeine Powered’s concerns that I might be consuming too much fun-juice as of late, the end of the work week is still reserved for recreational socialization. But on this particular evening, I’m just switching up my substance of choice.

In place of a carbonated adult beverage, I’m lubing my throat with Evan Williams Honey Reserve.

Truth be told, I was drawn to Evan Williams Honey Reserve because of the bee flying across the front of the bottle. Just to reiterate, it was the cartoon bee on the label that made me want to try the product at hand. No, there’s no point in trying to refute the idea that I’m a bit of a man-child.

Anyways, upon further inspection I discovered that the drink is “Kentucky Liqueur made with extra-aged bourbon infused with real honey.” Turning over the glass container in my hand, I read that second self-description; “Sweet and smooth, Evan Williams Honey Reserve is perfect on its own, chilled, served over ice or mixed.” At least according to the marketing designed specifically to get my dollars, this seemed like a good choice. And as a fan of Jim Beam, I was intrigued by the notion of using sweet bourbon to coat my gut-interior. Sold.

I decided to approach the liquor from a couple of different angles, which is something I don’t usually get to do with the Friday Brew Review. Yeah, beer can be pounded out of a bottle, can, glass, funnel, or even a goddamn hat – but none of these really change the beer itself. But with Evan Williams Honey Reserve, I was given the opportunity to really switch up my methods of consumption.

The first technique I used was to pour the bourbon into a short glass filled with ice. Sucking in a fat whiff, I took note of the alcohol’s sweet odor. This stuff smells like it could be a key ingredient of the punch at the kindergarten graduation. Which is frightening, considering that the liquid is 35% alcohol. Over ice, Evan Williams Honey Reserve tasted just about as smooth as it smelled. There was a warmth in my throat and belly upon swallowing, but nowhere near the burning or stinging sensation often associated with hard liquor. No, this stuff went down just as advertised, like a mild bourbon whose notes of honey offset the typical bitterness.

My only complaint about drinking the Kentucky-export this way is that the consistency was fairly syrupy. Even when the ice started to melt, I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that I was sucking down a mouthful of cough syrup. But hey, I’m sure that there are worse mouthfuls that one could suck down.

For the second method, I drank the bourbon straight and chased it with Coca-Cola. While this strategy wasn’t prescribed by the brewery website, I figured it’d be worth a shot. And damn if I wasn’t right! For some reason, shooting Honey Reserve right from the bottle and into my belly was a lot more enjoyable than sipping it through ice; the full flavor was preserved while stripping away the syrupy texture. Additionally, pounding from my can of Coke after imbibing only enhanced the taste, making for a sort of candied drunkenness. It’s sweet – terrible fucking pun intended.

At the end of the day, I’m still an avid beer drinker. Next week, regularly scheduled brew-reviewin’ will resume. But I can’t say I didn’t enjoy tonight’s detour into the realm of elevated ABV. If you are looking for hard liquor with a softer edge, Evan Williams Honey Reserve might just do the trick.

For what it’s worth: B

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Friday Brew Review – Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale

Friday, March 12th, 2010

Flying_Dog_Doggie_Style

I just jammed two bowls of Raisin Bran Crunch down my throat and into my gut. And not because I’m hungry. The sad fact is that despite my best efforts, I’m still a bit of a lightweight. If I try to drink on an empty stomach, I’m destined to say something I’ll later regret.

So I’ve just scarfed down seven hundred calories of breakfast food and am now working on a suds-soda. Perhaps this isn’t the best diet to follow on a regular basis, but I think my nutritionist will loan me one mulligan. After all, it’s important to remember the old proverb – America was built on breakfast and beer.

Anyways, I’m sipping on Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale from the peeps at Flying Dog Ales. Truthfully, I was initially attracted to the beer because of label adorned with Ralph Steadman art. But these motherfuckers can craft a good brew, so I was willing to shell out ten bucks for a six pack.

Referred to as the “Alpha of the pack,” Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale is the trademark beverage of the brewery. The Flying Dog website describes the liquid as a great all-around beer, capable of being paired with chicken, barbeque, or other “hearty dishes.” While this doesn’t really stand out to me at all, a much more intriguing description is found on the bottle’s label:

Dogs have it figured out. They sleep all day, lick themselves and eat everything but veggies. Be like the more enlightened species in your house by sipping this classic Pale Ale with its perfect balance of smooth malt and crisp hops. It’s so good, you’ll want to alp it up like your hound laps up toilet water.

I poured the concoction into a standard beer glass for examination. The liquid settles as cloudy amber, with a formidable bit of head as well. Holding it to the light, the amber took on some orange tones, if that even makes sense. From a visual stand point, my eyes were drinking this brew right up.

Sipping on Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale, the first two words that pop into my mind are clean and dry. The beverage does go down smoothly, with a bit of an aftertaste, but it leaves the palette just as quickly as it was introduced. Essentially, this curbs the hoppy nature of the beer, making the taster wanting more. Which is a real treat, I think, see a lot of times I find many pale ales (especially IPAs) to be overpowering, simply far too invested in a sensation of yeast.

Drinking this beer really makes me wish that I had a full meal in front of me. You know, maybe a rack of ribs and some corn on the cob. I think that taking swigs of Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale Pale in between bites of barbeque would be damn delectable. But the unfortunate reality, as I mentioned before, is that I’m using it to wash down cereal. Ah well, at least I’m starting to catch a buzz.

I guess the truest statement I can offer right now is that I really enjoy Doggie Style. And doggy style. And Doggystyle. Top notch stuff, all around.

I realize now that I didn’t comment on how the beer smelled. So let me assure you – it smells like beer. Not like a litter box or frozen yogurt or Indian food – like beer.

On that note, stop reading and start some drinking of your own. It’s Friday, don’t you want to forget the week?

Doggie Style Classic Pale Ale – B

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Friday Brew Review – St. Ides

Friday, March 5th, 2010

St Ides

I was going to do my taxes tonight. I was, I swear. For the last few weeks I’ve been looking the small stack of W-2 forms on my desk and just shaking my head. “Later,” I’d tell myself, smiling like a child who has no clue where the last cookie went. And Friday, March 5th, was supposed to be the day that the taxes get did. You know, so that the government can keep on doing all sorts of great stuff.

But it’s 10PM and it doesn’t look like the Taxman’s come to town. And I’m not laying my money down. In fact, I’m doing what most Americans do when they’re avoiding paying taxes – drinking fine malt liquor.

The beverage of this evening is a twenty-two ounce bottle of St. Ides. While the Brew Review is usually my excuse for sampling some incredibly pretentious lagers, sometimes I like to dip into the opposite end of the spectrum. Ya know, to keep it real. Or something. I don’t know, I’m a white sheltered product of the suburbs.

Anyways, I’m sipping on St. Ides. I snagged a bottle of this stuff simply because I had never noticed it before and it’s uber-cheap. I think might’ve even paid less than two bucks. For a dude like me, that’s a deal I just couldn’t pass up.

When I got home, I tried to find out as much as I could about the beer. Unfortunately, my cursory Internet-browsing didn’t yield too many results. In fact, the official website is defunct and most of what I learned about the malt liquor came from its Wikipedia page.

The long and short of it is this: St. Ides is inexpensive, will get you drunk, and is loved by 1990’s rappers. Seriously. Just check out this commercial:

Apparently when he wasn’t sippin’ Private Stock, St. Ides was how Biggie rolled.

Okay, so what do I think? Well, it’s definitely a beer. The taste reminds me of how a college party smells – like alcohol and sweat and bad ideas. But in a good way. The slightly elevated ABV (8.2%) isn’t noticeable in the flavor, and I’ve yet to decide if this for better or worse. With that being said, the extra alcohol does pop up when I sniff at the mouth of the bottle. Strange.

On the other hand, I’ve yet to experience one of the main (supposed) draws of this beer – inebriation. Maybe I’m not drunk because I ate half a pizza an hour ago. Or maybe I’m just building a tolerance (see: alcoholism). Either way, I’m not quite at the point of doing headspins on the dance floor. And that’s a shame.

St. Ides is the ideal drink to keep the poor poor and the rich rich – it’s cheap as shit and keeps people apathetic so that they don’t question their assigned stations. It was also a solid beer for the evening. I recommend it for broke motherfuckers and people trying to relive the East Coast/West Coast feud.

St. Ides: B-

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Posted in Beer, Pepsibones | 4 Comments »

Friday Brew Review – Brooklyn Local 1

Friday, February 26th, 2010

I’m drunk.

It’s not even 7PM and my brain is buzzing as I drown it in poison. Is this healthy? No. Should most people do this? No. But then again, most people don’t spend eight hours hopelessly trying to make a positive impression on the future generation of America. Goddamn, being a high school teacher is depressing. It wouldn’t be half as bad if I didn’t truly believe that the vast majority students I’m trying to reach are too beyond repair, already suckered into the myopic structure of feed/fuck/entertain/distract me now, I don’t give a shit about later. Ah well.

Tonight, I’m drinking Brooklyn Local 1. I picked up this beer for a few reasons. Firstly, I have a profound respect for the brewery’s other products. Secondly, this motherfucker came in a big bottle, providing one pint & 9.4 fluid ounces of goodness to my gullet. And lastly, I was (of course) taken in by the label’s advertising of 9% ABV. Through and through, Brooklyn Local 1 seemed like a good choice.

And as far as my Friday night is concerned, it has been. Truthfully, I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know how to really describe the beverage’s flavor. It’s a bit hoppy. It’s a bit dry. It’s drinkable and refreshing. Overall, it just tastes like a good beer. Nothing exceptional to take note of, but nothing terrible to decry either.

Without my own words to describe the brew, let’s see what the brewery says. According to their website, Brooklyn Local 1 can be described as such:

Behind the full golden color you’ll find an alluring aroma, a dynamic complex of flavors. Belgian flair. Brooklyn fortitude and a dusting of our special yeast. To create this beer, we use the old technique of 100% bottle re-fermentation, a practice now rare even in Europe. It gives this beer a palate of unusual depth.

Does that mean anything? I’m not sure. I have no way of fact-checking whether or not Brooklyn Local 1 is made with some practice outlawed in Europe. But if that’s true, I’ve got a wily fucking lager in front of me. Everything’s legal in Europe. From man-bags to pot.

The truth is that I’ve had fun drinking this beer tonight. I’m buzzed as hell, jamming to Primus, and genuinely enjoying the beginning of my evening. Things couldn’t be going smoother.

If you’re just supplying your own confidence-juice, make it a big bottle of Brooklyn Local 1; otherwise, you might be better off grabbing a sixer of one of the brewery’s other products. In either case, all of you should make a point to say hello Brooklyn.

Brooklyn Local 1 isn’t amazing, but it’s worth trying: B.

PS – I’m spamming every motherfucker on my Facebook tonight. Look for this shit.

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Friday Brew Review – Sofie

Friday, February 19th, 2010

Sofie

Today is the last day of February vacation. I know, I know – I shouldn’t complain, seeing as most jobs don’t include an occasional week-long break. Hell, these days, people are willing to take all sorts of jobs without benefits. With that being said, I’ve certainly enjoyed the time off and have wanted to make the most of these final vacation hours.

So what have I done to maximize my Friday-no-work time? Well, a major portion of this afternoon has been spent watching Raging Bull on YouTube and drinking beer.

But before we get to the beer, I feel the need to interject a bit of movie-rambling. After all, I’ve got a buzz on and OL is my zone to do so. To anyone out there that thinks The Departed is an amazing movie – you’re wrong. It’s pretty good. For a remake. But it’s not that spectacular. Yeah, I know, the use of the Boston accent is just wonderful (oh wait, no it isn’t…it’s fucking infuriating). But the bottom line is that it’s nothing more than a solid flick.

Okay, here come the arguments about how all the great awards it swept up signify its excellence. Let’s just be honest for a second; the only reason it got so many damn Academy Awards is because (historically) Scorsese got fucked over so many times. Let’s take a peak at an abridged list of Marty’s movies that won neither Best Picture nor Best Director:

Taxi Driver

Raging Bull

The Color of Money

Goodfellas

Casino

Gangs of New York

Watching Raging Bull today, I just couldn’t help but think of how overrated The Departed is. Maybe it’s because I live just outside of Boston, but I saw a lot of people lose their minds over that fucking movie. Which is unfortunate, because Scorsese is better than that. Much better

Anyways, this is the Friday Brew Review, so let’s get to the beer!

A few weeks back, I sampled a beverage by the peeps at Goose Island and was blown away. So when I spied Goose Island’s Sofie at the liquor store today, I had no qualms about purchasing a bottle. I didn’t need to read a description or ask a clerk’s opinion — my previous experience with the brewery was sufficient.

Pouring Sofie into a standard glass, I took a moment to admire its color. This beer is a light, almost pale shade of orange that is cloudier than clear. If I were an interior decorator, I’d probably use this color as for a damn sun room (do people have those anymore?). But from its appearance, Sofie seems like a drink worth tossing back in the hopes of being refreshed.

Before sipping on this bubbly destroyer of inhibitions, I checked out the Goose Island website. This is what they had to say about Sofie:

Fermented with wild yeasts and aged in wine barrels with orange peel, Sofie is a tart, dry, sparkling ale. A subtle, spicy white pepper note, a hint of citrus from the orange peel and a creamy vanilla finish make Sofie an intriguing choice for Champagne drinkers and beer drinkers who are fond of Belgian Saisons.

As I consumed Sofie, I found the citrus notes to be both overwhelming and wonderful. Drinking it in, I found myself thinking of the beer as a sort of sweet, sparkling grapefruit juice. Wait – isn’t grapefruit juice healthy? Yeah, I think it is. So if Sofie is a sort of grapefruit juice that can get you drunk…well, that’s all the better.

What I didn’t taste were any of the spicy or pepper-based flavors described above. In fact, to me Sofie is the exact opposite – a very mild and palatable beer. In my experience, this brew goes down the hatch with a smoothness that borders on downright creamy.

However, this is a creaminess that isn’t heavy or taxing. Instead, it’s a perfect texture, a liquid weighted in such a way as to be worthwhile even before factoring in flavor. When I close my eyes, I can imagine myself drinking Sofie in the warm sunshine of a Memorial Day barbeque. God damn do I hate winter.

Sofie is tart and fragrant, light and flavorful, filling and refreshing.

For its efforts: A-

And now, the trailer for Raging Bull:

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Friday Brew Review – Select 55

Friday, February 12th, 2010

Lightest Beer

FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!

BEER! BEER! BEER!

TONIGHT WE DRINK AWAY THE HOLLOW NIGHTMARE, THE LINGERING WORK-WEEK GHOSTS! THE CONJURED DEMONS OF SOCIETY CRUMBLE AND DECAY UNDER DURESS OF THE FERMENTED NECTAR! THIS. IS. BREW REVIEW!!!

*ahem*

What I meant to say was, welcome to the Friday Brew Review. Despite the special edition I dropped earlier this week, I’ve really been looking forward to this. Ya see, I decided awhile ago that this Friday would be reserved for a sort of…challenge.

Long story short, my friend Davey constantly gives me shit about the Friday Brew Review; he calls bullshit on my policy of straying away from products made by long-standing Titans of Beer. Historically, I’ve shrugged off his condemnations by reemphasizing the fact that the most popular beers in the U.S. generally taste like pee-pee water & the Brew Review is an opportunity for me to try new beverages.

At this point, he would still call bullshit. Yeah, he’s persistent. Perhaps I have been too much of a snob, too much of an elitist who looks down at the well-known lagers as being “merely pedestrian.” To determine whether or not this is the case, I have reserved this date as a chance to come face to face with the Devil herself…

But first, some background information. A few years back, Budweiser released Select, a beer that was lighter than their Bud Light and touted a measly 99 calories. The marketing for this beer did not advertise an amazing flavor, just the fact that it wouldn’t turn you into a total fat-ass. Hearing about it, I didn’t think that a more offensive beer could ever be concocted.

And then I discovered Budweiser Select 55.

Essentially, this is a lighter version of the Select product – only this time, the 99 calories have been reduced to 55. As an opponent of watered-down ideas, I decided that this would be the perfect liquid to test my palate. Let’s do this.

I’m not going to lie – at this point, I’ve drank four bottles of Select 55 and I’m starting to feel good. Not wasted or anything, as the “Premium Light Beer” is only 4% ABV, but my smile is spreading a little easier. So if getting drunk is your goal, then Select 55 might be for you. But if inebriation is the only reason you drink beer, why even bother? You’d be better off getting to point of self-amusement through quicker means, like hard liquor or sniffing glue. 

Trying to figure out the appeal of this (non)beer, I headed to the official website. According to the folks at Budweiser, there are five good reasons as to why one should choose Select 55. For this review, I am going to list all five and respond to them accordingly.

1. It’s delicious.

No. Select 55 might be a lot of things (cleverly marketed, about eight bucks for a six pack), but it is not delicious. This beer basically tastes like the tap water available in any major metropolitan area, only blander and without the fluoride. In fact, I’m fairly certain I could use Select 55 to brush my teeth and never even notice.

2. It’s refreshing.

I won’t try to deny the fact that Select 55 is refreshing…but this isn’t something to brag about. When I think of beer, I think of liquid that’s going to stick to my ribs and make me sit down for awhile. On the other hand, I could drink this stuff while running the Chicago Marathon.

3. It’s waistline-friendly.

Get the fuck out of my face with that nonsense. If you’re really concerned about your muffin top spilling over, you shouldn’t even be drinking beer. You should be at the gym, doing, ahh…crunches? Is that what they do? Or is it cardio-kickboxing? In any case, I don’t count calories or give a shit, so “waistline-friendly” means nothing to me.

4. It brings people together.

Seriously? Because I’m fairly certain I’ve spent the last hour alone in my darkened room, listening to NIN and getting pissed about the fact that the Skywalker sneakers sold out before I could snag a pair. You’re wrong, Budweiser.

5. It’ll add balance to your life.

What the fuck does that even mean? Oh, what’s that, you have an explanation? Cool:

Your days are active and hectic. You already have enough things to worry about. Why should you have to worry about your beer, too? Select 55 is so delicious and refreshing and light, you can enjoy it without the slightest concern.

So…you don’t want me to think anymore? I shouldn’t have any concerns, I should just shut up and guzzle my beer? Hrm…

Again, I’ve drank four of these beers and my gut feels fine. This just isn’t right. There really isn’t any substance to the Select 55. Perhaps if I was a sorority sister, hoping to look sociable holding a beer while the bros scope out my poonannie, then this would be a perfect drink; No calories, no worries! But since I don’t feel the need to purge every carb I consume, Select 55 falls short.

Select 55, you’ve earned this grade: C

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Wednesday Brew Review – Black Lager

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Black Lager

Welcome to a special mid-week edition of the Friday Brew Review! As a high school teacher, my life seems to include a number of regularly-scheduled compromises – meager wages, hours spent on projects for students who couldn’t care less, the frustration of not being allowed to swear for eight hours a day, etc. But every now and then, an occupational perk seems to hop out of the shadows and give me a hug.

Today’s embrace comes in the form of a snow day.

Which is actually quite amusing, as it only started snowing an hour ago; about forty minutes after school would’ve ended. But hey, don’t think I’m complaining! With free time on my hands, I got to do stuff that I actually think is important, like reading some Palahniuk, writing a bit, planning a drum lesson, watching a DVD…

And of course, sippin’ on some beers.

The beverage of the day is Black Lager, as produced by Samuel Adams. I originally picked up a six pack of these Bad Larrys last weekend, never imagining that I’d review them. But with some spare time, I busted out a couple today and decided to go for it.

Black Lager is no misnomer. Pouring the beverage into my glass, I took note of its color – a black which instantly evokes thoughts of stouts. To be fair, it is not the absolute absence of color, as holding the glass to the light revealed more of a brown hue. Visually, this beer gave the impression that it would be syrupy in texture, perhaps flavorful but not especially suited rapid consumption.

I was wrong.

Ok, strike that last comment. To say I was wrong might suggest that Black Lager is an appropriate beer for funneling or pounding. While I think it can be done, it’s just too delicious for that shit. This Samuel Adams product has a bit of a kick, with a roasted taste and bitter notes that are incredibly smooth. The back of my tongue and even the roof of my mouth soaked up the liquid, helping me remember it long after swallowing. So while this is undoubtedly a dark lager, with a  taste and aroma that linger, it is also markedly crisp.

Curious, I wanted to know what Sam Adams had to say about the brew. According to the brewery, Black Lager (which is part of their elite Brew Master’s Collection) is stylized after a traditional German Schwarzbier. In their words,

When one sees a beer with a darker complexion these days, more often than not it’s a Porter or Stout. However looks can be deceiving. There exists a style older than both and generally less well known; the Schwarzbier, which literally translated is “Black Beer.” Unlike its dark cousins which both hail from Britain and are highly hopped ales, Schwarzbier comes from Germany, is lightly hopped and is fermented using a bottom fermenting lager yeast.  Samuel Adams® Black Lager is brewed in the tradition of the latter. A medium bodied beer brewed using several different roasts of malt to give the end product a smooth body and a depth of malt character that has to be tasted to be believed.

Yes, I’m a Samuel Adams fanboy and it’s been documented many times. So perhaps you should take this review of a grain of salt. Actually, you definitely should – any beer that I drink on a free day off from work is subject to scrutiny.

Black Lager: B+/A-

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Friday Brew Review – Three Philosophers

Friday, February 5th, 2010

Three Philosophers

It was a fine afternoon in the autumn of 1946. The war was over and if you were a sailor you were guaranteed a piece of ass. Every night. These weren’t the worst of times, they were the goddamn best of `em. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Anyways, it was in a Brooklyn coffee shop that Socrates and Plato had their now infamous conversation about brewing beer. No, I won’t deny the fact that Aristotle was there too. But it’s important to remember that he was just tagging along. Had he not been Plato’s boyfriend, he would’ve never slimed his way into annals of the Drunken Kingdom. But the dude could smooch with the best of them, so he was there too.

Anyways, Socrates took a bite of his dessert, chewed thirty times on each side, and swallowed painfully. “Next time, I’ll make sure to avoid the broken glass pie,” the Greek mused. Turning to his business partner, he initiated the dialogue.

“Plato, I’m tired of being damn broke all the time. Why don’t we makes us some cash?”

“Doing what? You’re a janitor and I haven’t painted a portrait in years. Now that the war’s over, capable men are coming back home. We’re fucked.”

“Don’t be such a damn defeatist!”

Socrates and Plato sat in perfect silence, trying to come up with an idea. Flamboyantly, Aristotle ruined said silence with the more-than-suggestive slurping of his vanilla milkshake. He was really having at it, using his straw and spoon and even his fingers in the effort to get the cream into his mouth. Even Plato was disgusted.

“Well, let me ask you,” began the older of the two partners.

“Fuck off with your questions! Always asking those damn questions! They’re going to drive me fucking apeshit!” Plato was clearly frustrated.

“Hey, it’s fine if you’re mad at me. But don’t curse the questions.” In a single swoop, Socrates tossed the remainder of the broken glass pie into his chew-hole. He swallowed, once again painfully, and then continued. “Ok. Let’s be reasonable. What type of work should a man engage in?”

“Something that he’ll be passionate about.”

“And how can one predict whether or not he will be passionate about a future endeavor?”

“Well, if it’s an activity that one enjoys on a regular basis…” Plato paused, just to make sure he knew where his train of thought was headed. “Well, then said activity will probably be easier to be passionate about.”

“And therefore?”

“And therefore, a more worthwhile job opportunity.”

Socrates smiled. He had taught his young partner well. “Agreed. So let’s figure this out – what is something that we both enjoy and are good at?”

Plato began, paused, began again, and then paused again. It popped right into his head and seemed like a great idea; yet something had held him back. Thinking on it for a moment, he realized that it was merely the fear of success. So he continued. “We’re really good at drinking beer.”

“Perfect! So now, instead of drinking beer, we will produce it…and then drink it!”

Their fate was decided. In a dingy Brooklyn coffee shop, Socrates and Plato made the decision to begin brewing their own beer. It was a business venture, sure. But it was also a worthwhile endeavor, helping people get drunk and forget their shitty existences for a few moments. The only hesitation was what type of ale they were to concoct.

Fortunately, Plato’s lover gave them the perfect inspiration. Jamming his long, scabby fingers into the ice cream dish, he grunted in frustration. Only for a moment, because he then retrieved the object of his desires. And, of course, he shouted triumphantly.

“The fucking cherry! I love cherries!”

And thus, Three Philosophers was born.

+++

I cannot verify the total accuracy of the above story. But if I had to guess, I would say that it’s probably pretty close to how the Brewery Ommegang conjured up their Three Philosophers ale.

Remarkably, Ommegang offers a different story. Whatevs.

In any case, the Belgian-style cherry-Lambic is fucking tasty. Referring to the Engrish desk reference I keep on hand, I came up with this description for the brew: alcohol cherry yum-yum.

Three Philosophers is admirably well-rounded and even-bodied. The cherry notes really cut through, making for a sweet beverage. This sweetness helps curb some of the heightened alcoholic qualities, which made sure to land on my taste buds during the initial tasting. At nearly ten percent alcohol content, this Cooperstown product made the fuzzy bats in my brain fly just a little more recklessly.

The only potential concern with this beverage is that I was dominated by foam during my first pour. This could very well be more because of my ineptitude in pouring, but is worth taking note of nevertheless.

I’m not sure what the fuck happened to this week’s Friday Brew Review. Perhaps we’ll return to the normal format next week? Who fucking knows?

Three Philosophers is worth your dollar bills: B+

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Friday Brew Review – Pere Jacques 2009

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Pere Jacques 2009

Tonight, despite my blood oath, I went back to Beacon Hill Wine & Gourmet to pick up my weekly syrup. No, not sizzurp! You know, beer! The sweet ambrosia with which the gods wined socialized and made merry! The GOOD STUFF!!!

Anyways, I hung my head and marched into the very store that I had sworn off a mere two months ago. I wasn’t happy about this decision, but I was in a time crunch and thus forfeited my foolish pride. Which, quite frankly, was really hard for me. Some days, foolish pride is the only ace I have up my sleeve.

To my delight, this second trip to Beacon Hill Wine & Gourmet was actually enjoyable. Whereas the cashier during the first excursion was a pretentious dongle hell bent on insulting me and then taking my cash, this second adventure saw a helpful young lady rocking the register. Truthfully, she talked and smiled as though she had been pounding Jolt Cola all damn day. But maybe that made her all the more eager to help me. I don’t know. All I do know is that thanks to a caffeine-riddled bloodstream of one female clerk, Beacon Hill Wine & Gourmet have officially been taken off of my shit list. Kudos.  

With the assistance of the aforementioned caffeine-junkie, I snagged a bottle of Pere Jacques 2009. I was first drawn to this ale by its understated and classy looking label. Living in an era in which the docile masses clamor for cold-activated labels, I was drawn to the simplicity of Pere Jacques. Other than the name, year, and brief description of the product, all that adorned the heavy-paper label was the brewery’s official seal. Yes, I could tell right away that Goose Island had sold me on one of their brews.

Having never even heard of the brewery, I hit up the Goose Island website. Their story, from what I can tell, isn’t dissimilar to that of Sam Adams – at some point in the 1980’s, Chicago-based beer-lover John Hall decided that he was fed up with the (lack of) choices available to the American public. He embarked upon a craft-beer journey; with rapid expansion in the 1990’s, the Goose Island crew became a well-established enterprise.

Ok, ok, great – so it’s beer made by people that like beer. That’s encouraging, but I still had no clue what the fuck a Pere Jacques was. Honestly, it sounds like a French explorer, a sexual maneuver only possible on honeymoons, or some combination of the two. Remembering that I had bought the bottle simply because of it’s fancy visage, I checked its side and found the following;

Abbey Ale inspired by visits to Belgium. 8% alcohol by volume, 650mL – 1 Pint 6 FL OZ. Develops in the bottle for up to five years. Contains live yeast. A sediment may form.

I poured the stuff into a wine glass. I’m not sure if that’s the proper technique (in fact, I’m fairly certain that it isn’t), but it just felt right. Again, not to harp on this thought, but the beer just exuded a classy aura and I wanted to do right by it. In the glass, Pere Jacques 2009 glimmered all sorts of wonderful caramel hues. Yes, the liquid was as appealing as its container. Knowing that it looked good, I wanted to know if it actually tasted good.

Sniffing at the mouth of the ill-fitting glass, I detected up a distinct fruitiness. I still can’t decide whether what my nose detected was more apple or pear, but it was definitely something had to be picked from a tree. Even with all the sweetness, a wonder-scent of alcohol still made its way through – not as pungent as hard liquor, but just enough to remind the drinker that this was not a beverage to shrug off.

Ok, so let’s get to the taste (Thank the Maker!) – Pere Jacques 2009 is fucking awesome. That fruity aroma is definitely present in the flavor, helping to push this ale into some distinctly tart territories. With that being said, there is also a strong undercurrent of sweetness, an almost caramel theme during the drinking process (wow, what a pretentious description). Honestly, this beer is astoundingly well-rounded. The slightly elevated alcohol content zings my mouth, and Pere Jacques reminds me that a beer can make one feel more alive.

Goddamn, this ale is just out of this world. I don’t do this often, but I mean it…

Pere Jacques 2009 – A

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Friday Brew Review – Nugget Nectar

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Nugget Nectar

It’s not even 3PM and I’m drinking beer. Perhaps this is the work of some divine force, swiftly setting right the grave injustice that was the last week’s tardy review. I’m not here to speculate, so I’ll just chalk it up to the fact that sometimes Life tosses breaks. A bit of respite from the mundane, the high school at which I teach is using this week exclusively for Midyear Exams; with only one exam to proctor today, I made sure to finish my work early so I could slide into the weekend.

So here we go – it’s drinkin’ time!

Initially, the premise of the Friday Brew Review was that I would take the opportunity to consume an entirely new beverage every week – ideally, never even repeating breweries. However, part of the problem with this is that I have stumbled upon a couple of really, really good breweries. So when I go to the store and see a beer of theirs that I’ve yet to try, it breaks my heart to think that I’ll have to abstain.

There’s enough heartbreak (warfare) in the world without me adding to it. So this week, I’m going to review a beer brewed by a company for whom I’ve sang praises time and again.

Today, I present the Tröegs Brewing Company’s Nugget Nectar.

Given that the leftovers from Friday Brew Reviews are starting to crowd my fridge, I decided against buying a full six-pack this week. Instead, I just snagged a big `ole bottle (one pint & six fluid ounces, to be precise). I poured the beer into a standard pint-sized mug, tossing back the remaining six ounces right from the bottle.

As is my standard routine, before drinking I wanted to evaluate the smell of the brew. Bringing the mug up to my nose, I was quite pleased with the aroma – an orange tang (no, not Tang) pops out, giving a pair of stiffies to the two little gnomes that run the olfactory senses. The only way to fairly describe Nugget Nectar’s bouquet is extraordinary. In fact, after he stole a whiff, I thought my dad was going to toss his twenty-four years of sobriety out the window. Luckily, I took him out with some Rex Kwon Do, locked him in the broom closet and then continued.

So is the citrus-scent well complemented by the flavor? Absolutely. The Tröegs have treated me to yet another wonderfully flavorful concoction. Drinking Nugget Nectar, my mouth is almost overloaded with taste – hops and the aforementioned citrus notes (tangerine?) duke it out, with an enjoyable bitterness hoping to survive. I want to say that any one of these is the key element, but they all work together to create a liquid-bread-goodness.

Wondering what the brewery had to say, I hit up their website. Once there, I found their tasting notes:

Squeeze those hops for all they’re worth and prepare to pucker up: Nugget Nectar Ale, will take hopheads to nirvana with a heady collection of Nugget, Warrior and Tomahawk hops. Starting with the same base ingredients of our flagship HopBack Amber Ale, Nugget Nectar intensifies the malt and hop flavors to create an explosive hop experience.

I can’t say I disagree with that description, not one dang lick!

As far as coloration, Nugget Nectar is just stunning. Is it amber with an orange hue or orange with an amber hue? I don’t know, and quite frankly I don’t care. All I know is that I fawn upon it with supreme reverence.

What more can I say? Nugget Nectar is the real deal. It’s light enough to toss back, but bitter enough to ward off beer-guzzlers (you know, the arch enemies of beer-appreciators). Maybe I’ve over-analyzing, but I also really enjoy the carbonation; while not as strong as in a soda-pop, it gives the potion a bit of a kick.

Nugget Nectar is delectable: A-

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Posted in Beer, Pepsibones | 6 Comments »

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