I want to be bitter about the fact that the fat ass Leviathan that is Electronic Arts has snagged the Star Wars franchise. However, maybe this means that they’ll churn out some space-worthy adventures. Just imagine! It has potential. For example, if this results in KOTOR 3, I’m going to jizz all over my belly.
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
Despite all my hot-winded, rot-gutted bitching about Dead Space 3, I’m not going to pass on the title. I just can’t. Even a neutered installment in the franchise is better than nothing at all. At least to me. Here’s some new screenshots for the jam, screenshots that have my balls a bit tender.
EA president-czar-guy Frank Gibeau has confirmed what most of us have suspected: the future lays in digital distribution. It ain’t a bit reveal that gaming companies are going to slough the tangible coil. Not at all. At the same time, it’s interesting to hear such a titan make the proclamation publicly.
Ah, EA’s chief wunder-monster is trying to rally those of us Dead Space fans who point out that open-world action shooters aren’t what we want in an installment of the franchise. Unfortunately the shithead tips his hand when he drops the ubiquitous buzzword of the generation.
Electronic Arts and Visceral Games confirmed this week at E3 the inevitable. After weeks of speculation and rolling confirmation they acknowledged what we had already seen, the bloated cyst hanging off of the tits of the previously remarkable Dead Space series. The cyst is a predominant one, flaring up in magnificent lumps across many a franchise I have come to behold. You can call it multiplayer. It is blight across this generation, as company after company double-fist outstanding single-player games. Red faced and drunk for profits, their ten knuckles dig deep into the game’s previously welcoming sphincter.
Butt play is fun, fingering around with little changes. Exploding a game’s design in the search of the almighty dollar with hungry hands is not.
The great litigation arm wrestling match between two video game Douchebag Titans is finally over. A day after settling with everyone who left Infinity Ward save its founders, EA and Activision have finally decided to play nice.
This is some crazy sauce. I can’t imagine a company being able to unhinge their jaw to such a degree that they could swallow Electronic Arts, but apparently it can be done. South Korean company Nexon is readying its gullet, poised to consume the leviathan.
There’s an assload of DLC coming out for Mass Effect 3. All of it is strewn through a variety of mediums – from other game purchases to figurines to a fucking headset. So much for a cohesive experience. All of this DLC, should you wish to acquire it, would run you $870.
Hit the break for the rundown.
|
|
|
