I want to be bitter about the fact that the fat ass Leviathan that is Electronic Arts has snagged the Star Wars franchise. However, maybe this means that they’ll churn out some space-worthy adventures. Just imagine! It has potential. For example, if this results in KOTOR 3, I’m going to jizz all over my belly.
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
My first response is “Ah, dog shit! Why isn’t BioWare proper working on the next Mass Effect game?” Then I recall the steaming shit they slithered down my throat at the conclusion of the first trilogy, and everything doesn’t seem so awful.
This is a fucking treat. Caleb Mendoza is the winner of some sort of Dead Space 3 contest, and the weapon he designed is going to be up in the game. It’s a cute little reference, Caleb. Though, not what I would have chosen. I would have designed some sort of head-splitting cock rocket that Isaac channeled through his suit’s internal energy pack and out of his hog. Directly out of his hog. It would have been magic.
Dragon Age 3: Inquisition is coming, and it probably will have more than one dungeoin.
Nintendo are keen on poking the bear this week. For the purposes of this metaphor I shall be playing the bear and the poking stick is represented by the recent glut of Wii U announcements. They’re poking me into a fevered state where I suddenly find myself compelled to pre-order a brand new console and then feel dirty about it afterwards. I have some genuine soul-searching to do.
Mass Effect 3 is finally getting some DLC that isn’t promising to fix the ending. Those lasses and lads at BioWare really through themselves off their schedule when they decided to shit directly into the game code after about thirty hours of fun. They’ve finally doubled back around though, and are ready to release some new content.
EA president-czar-guy Frank Gibeau has confirmed what most of us have suspected: the future lays in digital distribution. It ain’t a bit reveal that gaming companies are going to slough the tangible coil. Not at all. At the same time, it’s interesting to hear such a titan make the proclamation publicly.
Ah, EA’s chief wunder-monster is trying to rally those of us Dead Space fans who point out that open-world action shooters aren’t what we want in an installment of the franchise. Unfortunately the shithead tips his hand when he drops the ubiquitous buzzword of the generation.
Just today I was wondering what the fuck was going on with the Mass Effect 3: Unfucked Ending, and no sooner do I dwell on it some info turns up. My mind has fucking powers! Imagining…Scarlett Johansson. She’s here guys. Be to the right back.