Welcome to Monday Morning Commute. This is the column where we all slow down enough to talk about what we’re enjoying on a given week. Me? How am I doing? Why, how kind of you to ask! As you may or may not know, I work on a college campus. And this week I’m lucky enough to enjoy the week off between Spring and Summer semesters. I’m going to spend the next seven days trying to figure out what that fuck I’m going to be teaching in a month, watching The Most Ill of all Bro Movies, and throwing a party at my new apartment. It’ll be a good week.
It’s Christmas Eve, and you’d damn well better hope that you’ve been good this year.
Why is that? Well, I just got off the phone with Santa Claus. He’s doing well. He’s busy, of course, but things are goin’ his way. His stocks’re on the rise. He left that frumpy wife of his and snagged a lover more to his liking. And he’s decided to finally stop being so damn soft on those perennial residents of the Naughty List. Given what St. Nick has in store for this year’s crop of bad boys and girls, coal in the stocking is going to look like a walk in the park.
If you haven’t been good for goodness’ sake, Santa Claus is going to rock you with an atomic leg-drop.
There’s no way to know ahead of time whether you’ll be gettin’ a Furby or a beatdown from Santa. You’ll just have to wait until tomorrow morning — either you’ll wake up to open presents in your pajamas, or you’ll wake up with missing teeth and cracked ribs. But why don’t we share some ways to pass the time until then? Hell, this is the Monday Morning Commute, the very spot where we meet to discuss the various ways we’ll be entertaining ourselves.
After all, it’s easy to get bested by the ennui-daemons and work-overlords. If we don’t take the time to enjoy ourselves, we’ll die as nothing more than the miserable, boring wretches that the Man wants us to be. So let’s rebel! Our bosses don’t own our souls, and Santa may break our backs, but he can’t break our spirits!
C’mon, let’s do this!
I keep forgetting that Django is going to be starring as the villain in Amazing Spider-Man 2. Mr. Foxx himself recently sat down and elaborated all about the Electro guy he is going to be playing, taking us fanboys and fangirls into the motivations behind the, you know, pretty lame supervillain.
One of the lovely things about Tarantino around the release of one of his movies is that the auteur begins to spit about upcoming works. The Melty Faced One is now once again talking about his desire to make a 1930s gangster flick.
Folks, the film is only getting closer. I can’t wait. Here is the final theatrical trailer.
How much Django do you want up in your guts? How much can they handle on Christmas? Perhaps three hours or so?
Buried in dope movies this fall? I know I am. I’ve been cutting through them with my money-saber, splaying wants and desires across my bank account. If you’ve been so buried that you’ve forgotten that Django Unchained is dropping on the Day of Some People’s Lord, here is a neat reminder.
Hopefully by the time Django Unchained comes out, I’ll be finished rubbing The Master all over my soul. So delicious. So tasty. Just to remind my neglecting ass that this movie is coming fast and furiously, there hath been some character posters dropped.
Catching up on other swag that I enjoyed pre-NYCV is the Django Unchained trailer. Number two! Number two. There’s something unsettling about making a slave master so humorous, but I suppose it would not be Tarantino if he wasn’t surfing controversy.
Boom! A new sixty-second spot for Django Unchained.