Welcome to Buy These F**king Comics!, the column where all of us goobers get together and share the funny books we’re interested in buying in a given week. There is nothing so magical as hitting the shelves on Hump Day and snagging some comics to drag our wayward asses through the final two days of drudgery. Except maybe winning the PowerBall. That seems really magical. Plus, if I won it I wouldn’t have to scrape gum-covered quarters off the inside of trash cans to buy my comic books. Shit, that sounds pretty neat. Okay, so buying comic books is second in the line of majestic happenings. But it’s a close race. So, uh. Yeah. Again, welcome to the column. If I don’t mention your favorite weekly drop, let me know it in the comments section. If you are one of those booger-eating maestros who is too busy attempting to calculate the enormity of the Multiverse to know what is coming out this week, hit up Comic List. It’ll do you good.
Welcome friends to the place for fans of the sequential art, thrice-engorged breasts, and monologuing. This here column is the watering hole where you can share the funny rags you’re snagging on a given week. The hole itself is Mountain Dew laced with hallucinogens, so right about the time all our faces become gaping maw anuses rocketing lasers into the night sky, begin screaming your choices while running into the wilderness.
You may notice that my choices are indubitably not yours, and that’s cool. Use it as an opportunity to recommend the hotness that no one else is mentioning, or perhaps has not heard of. If you don’t know what’s what titles are arriving this week, hit up Comic List.
Everyone in the Avengers fucking party! I know, I know. Spreading thin, et cetera. I don’t care. Hawkeye by Fraction and Aja is coming, bringing with it a groin swell from my corner of the room.
Covers and deets post-jump.
I first really began to take notice of Matt Fraction during his stint on Iron Fist with Ed Brubaker and David Aja, many moons ago. A lifetime of funny books since. Now the Fraction-Man and Aja are going to be reteaming it seems, and this has my balls aflutter.
We’re shortly enclosing on the witching hour, the feast of October. The ephemeral time where the membrane between the expired and the wind-sucking melts before our eyes, unleashing torrents of evil and scares upon us. That ain’t the half of it either, dude. Motherfuckin’ candy up in the bitch and rotten teeth and syringes in the bags of your children. It’s dangerous out there! Stay inside. Read some funny books.
This is Variant Covers. The rags I’m stoked on this week. Share your pull-list after the spiel ends.