Protect this! Protect that! Load the fucking unicorns! Blah, blah! War movie meets God meets ecological disaster flick. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Noah, and I definitely don’t know how this is in Darren Aronofsky’s wheelhouse.
None the less. Hit the jump. Watch the teaser. Let me know what you think.
…opph. Take that headline off the berries. So yeah. I know this isn’t new, but I figured I would post it here. Aronofsky has consumed a decent amount of bandwidth on the site, and thus neglected this uh, creation, seemed a bit remiss.
Oh God, I totally couldn’t have envisioned this! Psyche! Tricked you! Darren Aronofsky and Paramount are battling over the final cut of the director’s eco-disaster biblical nightmare. Apparently Paramount somehow suffered the delusion that Aronofsky made accessible flicks, and saw fit to give him roughly 3-zillion dollars for this blockbuster. Supposed blockbuster. Probable failure.
The world has been given a first look of Russell Crowe as Noah, and the dude looks about the same. About! The same.
Jennifer Connelly. You probably remember her work with Aronofsky in Requiem for that scene. Might I suggest though, don’t let that moment overshadow the quality of her performance in the entire film, which has me stoked at the possibility of her reuniting with the director.
Fuck vampire hunters! Darren Aronofsky is taking George Washington and doing him up friggin’ Unforgiven style.
Russell Crowe seems like a sturdy son of a bitch who could both build something and drink too much. This makes him the perfect Noah, a factoid which didn’t escape Darren Aronofsky. The director has paused for long enough from directing J. Lo in nauseating Kohl’s commercials long enough to land a lead man for his bio-disaster-bibilical-journey Noah.
Oh, Darren. If I didn’t openly admit I shouldn’t stop you from making some honest cheddar, I’d be hanging my head over this one. You directed an ad for Kohl’s starring J. Lo? I hope you bought the kids something nice with the check.
Russell Crowe may be the perfect casting for the alcoholic turned savior Noah in the upcoming Aronofsky eco-disaster-masterpiece-maybe. It was rumored last week, and Sir Telephone Pitcher has confirmed that hes in talks via his Twitter acount.
Matthew Libatique who is oft a cinematographer for Mr. Darry Aronofsky has dropped some details regarding Noah. Shooting dates, and the villain. Which apparently isn’t God, which would have been totally cool. IMO retcon the Bible.