#June2014

Darren Aronofsky adapting ‘MaddAddam’ book trilogy for HBO

Darren Aronofsky

Darren Aronofsky is taking his talents to television! Which these days seems to be the sexier place for narrative exploration for many creative types. Better yet, Aronofsky adapting a dystopian book trilogy by Margaret Atwood? Sign me the fuck up. TV is the NEW CINEMA, and our Ocular Globes are reaping the benefits.

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‘NOAH’ Super Bowl Teaser Trailer: Angels, Rain, and Yelling. Lots Yelling.

Noah.

Protect this! Protect that! Load the fucking unicorns! Blah, blah! War movie meets God meets ecological disaster flick. I don’t know what the fuck is going on in Noah, and I definitely don’t know how this is in Darren Aronofsky’s wheelhouse.

None the less. Hit the jump. Watch the teaser. Let me know what you think.

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‘NOAH’ TRAILER: It looks…LIKE A DISASTER #Rimshot

Noah.

…opph. Take that headline off the berries. So yeah. I know this isn’t new, but I figured I would post it here. Aronofsky has consumed a decent amount of bandwidth on the site, and thus neglected this uh, creation, seemed a bit remiss.

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GO FIGURE: DARREN ARONOFSKY and PARAMOUNT battling over ‘NOAH’ FINAL CUT

Darren Aronofsky

Oh God, I totally couldn’t have envisioned this! Psyche! Tricked you! Darren Aronofsky and Paramount are battling over the final cut of the director’s eco-disaster biblical nightmare. Apparently Paramount somehow suffered the delusion that Aronofsky made accessible flicks, and saw fit to give him roughly 3-zillion dollars for this blockbuster. Supposed blockbuster. Probable failure.

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First Look: Russell Crowe in Aronofsky’s ‘NOAH’, dude looks rough. Like Russell Crowe.

The world has been given a first look of Russell Crowe as Noah, and the dude looks about the same. About! The same.

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Jennifer Connelly In Talks For Aronofsky’s ‘NOAH’, I Vote Yes.

Jennifer Connelly. You probably remember her work with Aronofsky in Requiem for that scene. Might I suggest though, don’t let that moment overshadow the quality of her performance in the entire film, which has me stoked at the possibility of her reuniting with the director.

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DARREN ARONOFSKY To Direct GEORGE WASHINGTON Biopic With ‘UNFORGIVEN’ Spin.

Fuck vampire hunters! Darren Aronofsky is taking George Washington and doing him up friggin’ Unforgiven  style.

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Russell Crowe Locked In For Aronofsky’s ‘NOAH’, Set To Film In July.

Russell Crowe seems like a sturdy son of a bitch who could both build something and drink too much. This makes him the perfect Noah, a factoid which didn’t escape Darren Aronofsky. The director has paused for long enough from directing J. Lo in nauseating Kohl’s commercials long enough to land a lead man for his bio-disaster-bibilical-journey Noah.

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WATCH Darren Aronofsky Directed Ad for Kohl’s Starring J. Lo. Bills, Man.

Oh, Darren. If I didn’t openly admit I shouldn’t stop you from making some honest cheddar, I’d be hanging my head over this one. You directed an ad for Kohl’s  starring J. Lo? I hope you bought the kids something nice with the check.

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Russell Crowe Confirms He’s In Talks For Aronofsky’s ‘Noah’ On Twitter.

Russell Crowe may be the perfect casting for the alcoholic turned savior Noah in the upcoming Aronofsky eco-disaster-masterpiece-maybe. It was rumored last week, and Sir Telephone Pitcher has confirmed that hes in talks via his Twitter acount.

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