It is a little known fact that if an adult male takes a lightning bolt directly to the epicenter of their asshole, it jettisons all of said male’s seminal fluids in an orgiastic cascade of momentary death. I’m not saying that happened to me while watching this trailer, but I am saying my testicles are covered in procreational gunk.
Here are two new pictures from Thor: The Dark World that feature the varying facets of the Odinson. Namely, his overwhelming desire for both mirth, and bludgeoning people upon their skulls.
Ride the lightninggg! Here is the first poster for Thor: The Dark World. Let that get your groin greasy, and then contemplate the fact that we’re getting a trailer for the movie this week.
Chris Evans wants himself in Thor: The Dark World. It ain’t no big thang, just throw him into the flick in some sort of cameo.
Here is like a million, zillion set photos from some big fight currently being filmed for Thor: The Dark World. Don’t be a shocked asshole, we both know there are spoilers ahead.
Here’s a shot making the rounds. All your favorite Avengers as they looked back in their high school days. These are totally senior head shots, right? ‘Cause I’m staring at you Chris Hem…I mean ScarJo. Staring.
Hellllllllll yeah. Avengers has broken the all-time domestic box office opening, farting on all those that dared come before it. Big, green Hulkian farts, flinging witty quips of disparagement as it does so.
The Avengers should be as necessary to you this weekend as breathing, if:
- You saw and enjoyed the Marvel Universe films of the past five years — like Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America.
- You read and enjoy superhero comic books.
- You have a fucking pulse.
If two of these things apply, you’ve probably already seen it. If all three do, you saw it last night at midnight like the rest of us.
[Caff Note: With CiTW dropping this weekend, there's bound to be spoilers discussion in the comments. I warned you, fools!]
You don’t need to be a fan of Joss Whedon – or, a Whedonite as his diehards are terribly named – to know that his output is wildly smart. The man knows how to play with genre tropes without rubbing how clever he is in our face. Nevertheless, after hearing repeatedly about how innovative The Cabin in the Woods is, I was afraid that it was going to be overly self-conscious like the Scream series and be a massive wink and nudge at how clever Whedon and director Drew Goddard are. Thankfully that’s not the case and Cabin manages to be immensely entertaining without any third act twists. From the first frame Whedon and Goddard slowly feed us information so by the end, you don’t feel duped by a left field twist.