Posts Tagged ‘Bioware’

Dragon Age II Trailer: Director’s Cut Is Exercise In Amazing

Friday, August 27th, 2010

Confession time! Despite loving BioWare and everything they produce, I haven’t played Dragon Age: Origins. I know, I fucking fail. So hard, that it makes comprehension of said failure almost impossible to grasp. That said, the recently released Director’s Cut trailer for Dragon Age II has me losing my god damn mind.

It’s got almost everything that gives me a boner in life: a bad-ass dude with a ridiculously large weapon, power metal cords, and slow-motion combat. It’s god damn amazing. I was planning on conquering Dragon Age: Origins prior to the sequel dropping, and now I’m really fighting the urge to throw aside my backlog and play the son of a bitch.

I’m losing my cool with fervor, yo! Do need.

Hit the jump for the trailer.

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Mass Effect 2 Cosplay Brings Typical Horndog Glee

Wednesday, August 25th, 2010

I’ll always have a thing for Yeoman Chambers. Primarily since she is the classic interstellar babe that I cannot get with. Alas. That’s like, you know, every chick on the planet. Or galaxy. Particularly ones that aren’t real. But Miranda Lawson from Mass Effect 2 was a cutie as well, and these cosplay pictures of her are certain both impressive and sexy. Sexily impressive. Impressively sexy.

Kotaku:

Sure, she’s no Yvonne Strahovski, the actual actress behind Mass Effect 2′s Miranda Lawson, but Polish model Jessika F is doing a pretty good job nonetheless in this cosplay photo shoot.Put together by Dark Stars Photography, this is a great shoot. And I’m not talking about the lady clad in spandex. I’m talking about the effort that’s gone into the role-play, the photoshopped combat and even the fact they found a location that looks like somewhere Miranda and Commander Shepard could actually share a quiet lunch.

They’re nice, yo. Some serious work went into the outfit, photography, and photoshopping like wut. Hit the jump for shots of the intergalactic booty gudness.

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Oh Snap! Mass Effect 2 Hitting Playstation 3; Teaser Right Hurr

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010

Well, snap! I figured that when EA gobbled up BioWare, they’d be porting a cash cow like the Mass Effect series onto multiple consoles. But! But then Mass Effect 2 came and went on the 360 and nothin’ happened. Well, such sentiments were portentous, just took a bit longer than I expected. January, 2011, Mass Effect 2 comes to the fuggin’ Playstation 3.

Kotaku:

During the EA press conference at GamesCom in Cologne, Germany, BioWare’s Dr. Ray revealed that the second game in the Mass Effect series would hit the PlayStation 3 in January.

Is there anything else to say? It’s Mass Effect, and it’s coming to the PlayStation 3. Let’s hear us some cheers, PlayStation 3 owners!

UPDATE: The official press release for the PS3 edition includes the line: “The PlayStation 3 edition will include the full Mass Effect 2 game and hours of bonus content.” We’ve asked an EA spokesperson for clarification about whether that refers to new gameplay sequences or what.

Good news for all my scrub friends who only own a PS3. However, this shit could be bad fucking news for my wallet, if the PS3-port comes with anything resembling new content. Son of a fucking bitch! If there’s even a single new scenario, my fanboy ass is going to have to double-dip. Which means, they know that there are people like me out there, and it will in fact include marginal new content to rope me in.

Fuck. Hit the jump for the Playstation 3 teaser.

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Good Lord, Mass Effect 3 To Have 1,000+ Variables

Wednesday, August 4th, 2010

One of the dopest things about the Mass Effect universe, and there are numerous points of dopeness, is that it is a sustained universe across installments. Shit you do in the original game affected the universe of the second, and all the decisions from the first two will once again alter the landscape of your individual Mass Effect 3 experience. After awhile, all the various variables have to add up, right? Yeah dude, they’re adding up like woah. Mass Effect 3 is going to have to consider 1,000+ variables.

Good god damn.

Destructoid:

If you’ve been Mass Effecting since the beginning, you’ll know that your path is totally different from the next guy’s, and that your decisions continue to affect situations into the next game. And now into the third game, Mass Effect 3. Bioware says that gamers will see their stories continue, and that things are getting a little crazy now with over 1,000 story variations lined up.

“Numerically, it’s over 1,000 variables that we’ll have access to for shaping the Mass Effect 3 experience for people who’ve played the previous games,” Bioware’s Casey Hudson told PC Zone magazine.

God bless those coding-type wizard-people who work at BioWare. I can’t even account for marginal Algebra II. But I tip my cap to ya’ll. It’s great being able to see a universe that I’ve sculpted continue through an entire series. From douchebags that I’ve chosen to kill, to my own customized appearance, it’s enjoyable like wut.

So yeah, get coding. Slackers.

Mass Effect 2 DLC: ‘Lair of the Shadow Broker’ Announced; Blue Skinned Hotness INC.

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

BioWare has announced the next Mass Effect 2 DLC: Lair of the Shadow Broker, dropping uh, sometime. Apparently the DLC takes place in response to a bunch of hogwash bullshit that took place during Mass Effect 2 that we never saw. But was in a comic book.

Uh?

Isn’t like, some of this essential narrative information?

via kotaku:

After Shepard died in the beginning of Mass Effect 2, his blue-skinned friend Liara T’Soni fought a desperate battle to recover his body from the mysterious Shadow Broker. Now it’s time to settle the score.

Detailed in the Mass Effect 2 comic book series from Dark Horse, Liara went through hell to recover Commander Shepard’s remains from the mysterious information broker known as the Shadow Broker, delivering them to Cerberus, where our hero was eventually reconstituted.

Good god damn. I hate it when important plot points are used as selling points for various cross-merchandising. I would have liked to thank Miss Sexy Blue Skin for her efforts when I met her in one of my nineteen playthroughs of Mass Effect 2 for, you know, capturing my body and bringing it to get revived. Only fuggin’ Bioware didn’t let me know of this, because I didn’t read a comic.

Whatever.

In this DLC, you’ll be teaming up with Liara to storm the Shadow Broker and lay some whup down on his ass. Good. This douche has been a serious pain in Shepard’s ass since he double-crossed Tali back in the original. Let’s do this.

Mass Effect 3 At E3 Next Week? Engage Thrusters!

Friday, June 11th, 2010

sheps

Holy fucking shit! I’m still getting people joining in my spanking to Mass Effect 2′s Yeoman Chambers, and next week they may be announcing the final installment in the trilogy? Rly? Srsly? This game is only fucking six months old! I’m not complaining though! I’m feelin’ you, bros! How do we know all this? Why, one handy-dandy leaked FLOOR PLAN:

MASS EFFECT !!?

[via kotaku]

Fuggin’ jawesome, ya’ll. Mass Effect 3 being premiere while my buttlust for the sequel still seeps.

Mass Effect Going Multiplayer? Frak Yes.

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Johnny

I love me some Mass Effect. And while I don’t think there’s anything in the cards for a Mass Effect MMO (as of yet, mind you), the idea of being able to romp around with fellow space-nerd-cadets in the Mass Effect universe makes me tingly and grin like a fucking asshole.

via kotaku:

A job listing reveals that Mass Effect developer BioWare Montreal is looking for a multiplayer programmer to “take existing single player user experiences and make them multiplayer safe.” Is Mass Effect going multiplayer?

“Multiplayer Programmers ensure the game engine and game systems work reliably and efficiently in a multiplayer environment. They work with both the front and back ends to take existing single player user experiences and make them multiplayer safe.”

It’s no confirmation, but then what else is BioWare working on that would require a multiplayer programmer? Right now they’ve got Dragon Age, Star Wars: The Old Republic, and Mass Effect, and the job posting singles out Mass Effect.

No confirmation, but it certainly suggests something in the works, no? Righteous. Most righteous.

Mass Effect Is Getting A Movie, I’m Getting A Juicy Crotch

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

john

Oh fuck yes! A game that is based off of some of my favorite Sci-Fi bullshit such as Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica is getting its own movie. Fucking party!

via slashfilm:

Legendary Pictures has picked up the rights to the BioWare game  series Mass Effect. I Am Legend and Thor screenwriter Mark Protosevich has been assigned to write.

THR  says that Avi and Ari Arad will produce with Thomas Tull and Jon Jashni from Legendary. The project is early in development; Warner Bros. would co-finance and distribute worldwide.

This is redonkulously awesome news for a nerd like me. Jesus Christ, lord, don’t let this suck. The potential for rock is great when adapting this son of a bitch. Unfortunately, the potential for suck is probably just as great, if not superior. A favorite game of mine based off of favorite movies of mine is getting its own film? The cycle is now complete.

Mass Effect 2 DLC: Overlord Coming; More Mediocre Fun!

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

dlc

The Mass Effect 2 DLC has been pretty mediocre. I haven’t even finished Kasumi’s Stolen Memory. But fuck me, yes I’m going to buy this:

via G4:

When sent to investigate a Cerberus research base that’s mysteriously gone silent, Shepard arrives to find Geth overrunning the base. The sole survivor, Chief Scientist Archer, paints a dire picture: an experiment to fuse a human volunteer with a virtual intelligence created a dangerous hybrid “VI overlord”. The rampaging VI has already attacked three other Cerberus bases, controlling any technology it finds in an attempt to break free–and unleashing Geth across the planet. Unless Shepard can infiltrate the VI’s fortress and shut it down, this homicidal intelligence will beam itself-off planet and wreak havoc on other systems.

Sounds good. Will probably be meh. I’ll spend the money anyways. I’m part of the problem.

Shepard Can’t Have Same Sex Hook-Ups In Mass Effect 2 Because BioWare Are Pussies

Monday, April 5th, 2010

sheppy

For months I’ve been trying to get into Yeoman Chamber’s pants. Like, I really wanted to. I’ve spent all of my effort and suave nature trying to convince her to make the mistake of a lifetime.

And today I found out why. BioWare is a bunch of pussies, and don’t allow same-sex romances.

I stumbled across a ballin’ article today over at Kotaku in which the writer asked why same-sex bangings couldn’t happen to the Czar of Douchery or whatever over at BioWare. The response was something like “Blah blah blah, non-answer, blah blah, we’re pussies.”

Shepard

First:
I can understand where they’re coming from. Sort of.

It makes complete sense that BioWare wants to market Mass Effect 2 to the greatest and most totally largest market imaginable. And having tons of dongs rubbing dongs and vaginas grinding vaginas would probably scare people away.

I mean, for me? It would have sold a second copy for me. Dongs rubbing dongs? I’m fucking in, man. But for all the homophobes, bible-fuckers, and toothless goobers out there that yesterday jerked off to their crucifix, it would have been an instant non-sale.

I think?

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