#August2019

Disney reveals plans for Marvel-themed park called “Avengers Campus” so we can all be adult children forever, great

avengers campus disney

I’m torn. On one hand, I really want to go to Avengers Campus. On the other hand? All this jerking off to Marvel and other pop culture has me feeling like we’re stuck in some sort of permanent adolescence. Eh, whatever. The Amazon is burning, you’ve never been closer to death. Go have fun.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Endgame’ becomes highest-grossing movie of all time as Disney defeats Disney to stick it to Disney

avengers endgame highest grossing

I am deeply disturbed by how many fucking nerds cared about one enormous popcorn flick overtaking another enormous popcorn flick for highest grossing movie of all time. Especially since they’re both owned by one enormous corporation.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Endgame’ Mini-Trailer: Taking The Fight To The Mad Titan (Good Fucking Luck!)

So, like, my hypothesis: the Avengers take the fight to Thanos early in Endgame. They get their asses whupped, and eventually realize they need to use their brains and not their brawn (also, the Quantum Realm) to take down the Mad Titan.

Read the rest of this entry »

Watch: That ‘Avengers: Endgame’ theory where Ant-Man kills Thanos through his ass has a a video

avengers endgame thanus

Whelp, we have the video finally. THANUS. Ant-Man killing Thanos through his ass. The internet is a good, horrifying, troubling place. But, I’m here for it.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Endgame’ Trailer: The Team Is Ready To Do Whatever It Takes, But I Ain’t!

Man, just fuck me up with this unexpected Avengers: Endgame trailer, Marvel.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Endgame’ Super Bowl Trailer: The Squad Gets Ready For Round 2!

Man, I can’t wait for this fucking movie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Rumor: ‘Avengers 4’ is dropping this Friday at 9 a.m. ET, but we’ve been here before, huh?

avengers 4 trailer friday

Yeah, I’m tired of talking about this too.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Final Trailer: I’m not crying, you’re crying! We’re both crying!

‘Avengers: Infinity War’ is dropping a week earlier, on April 27. Oh god, it’s coming earlier. And so am I.

avengers infinity war april 27

Fucking Avengers: Infinity War, dudes. I’ve been sweating it so hard, for so long. Goosebumps and teary eyes.  Speculations and postulations. It’s felt like the fucking May 4 release date is never going to arrive. But, good news for me. And you. We don’t need to wait that long anymore. Now it’s dropping on April 27, motherfuckers.

Read the rest of this entry »

‘Avengers: Infinity War’ Super Bowl TV Spot: It’s All Been Leading To This

This movie and its sequel are going to fuck me up so bad, and I cannot fucking wait.

Read the rest of this entry »