I guess there were other Watchmen comic books before the movie came out? Shit is hard to keep track of. One of those “comics”(or were they just adaptations of the movie?) was Watchmen #1 (probably a gimmicky marketing number), and its cover is going to be up for sale. It’s done by some Dave Gibbons guy, who frankly, I’m not really acquainted with.

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Deep down inside, I know that I disagree with a library’s decision to yank Neonomicon from the shelves. I do. I appreciate the need to combat censorship, that sort of thing. On a more visceral level however, I can’t be too offended. While a bit heady in places, Moore’s entire series is slathering in the jizz of mythical monster orgies and ultra violence. Like, seriously.

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Alan Moore doesn’t like Grant Morrison. That shouldn’t be surprising. Alan Moore doesn’t like anything that isn’t wizardry, orgies involving mythical creatures, or giving birds a home in his beard. After taking a continual beating from everyone’s favorite comics scribe turned necromancer, Grant Morrison has responded to Moore’s criticism.

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The CBLDF and other organizations are launching into action after Alan Moore and Jacen Burrow’s pretty fucking terrifying comic Neonomicon got pulled from a library in South Carolina.

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Dan DiDio is taking to The Guardian to defend Before Watchmen, calling it s love letter to Alan Moore’s creation. What DiDio doesn’t mention is that sometimes love letters are epistles scribbled in feces and blood, rambling incoherently. Rambling to such a degree because those penning the shit-blood missive are empty souls, without an ability to define their existence without the object of their love.

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Alan Moore is back at it. I know that some people (specifically around these parts, and people I respect mind you) are tired of him lobbing bombs, but I enjoy it. In this interview, Moore details how Gibbons and he got jobbed when it came to the rights to Watchmen  and more.

Hit the jump for the video.

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Yo! I’m riding on this here high horse, and I’m swooping down with some awesomeness from Alan Moore on the fans who will buy Before Watchmen. Note: I know he’s generalizing since I think Rendar and others here at OL are going to buy it, and they seem like decent enough people. You know. Friends. A brother. But still. I fist-pump to the sentiment while acknowledging the necessary middle ground everywhere in Existence.

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Alan Moore spat some knowledge recently at last week’s  Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People. It’s a bit fucking insane, and definitely doesn’t seem to hinge on anything other than his fairly mind-blowing brain-piece. Worth the watch, plus he’s wearing a shirt in the Superman font that says Sperm. A man of my own heart.

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Barnes and Noble was totally butt-hurt with DC when they announced their deal with Amazon and the Kindle Fire. They yanked DC comics from the shelves in a resounding dumb move. DC’s loss seems to be 2000 AD’s gain however, as the chain has taken to stocking the shelves with Moore and friends’ works.

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The skull threatens to crack. Athena surely rests inside. The caffeine isn’t cutting it, and I have a mental list to transcribe into a word box. This is Variant Covers, the column where I tell you the funny books I’m buying on a given week. This is also Caffeine Powered, exhausted, with a splitting headache, cursing the Christian guilt that won’t let him skip a week. I can detach myself from the Bearded Floaty Guy, but I can’t remove myself from the morals drilled in by the indoctrination process.

Save me.

In the interest of saving my rotting synapses, I’m going to be succinct this week. A mere one-week trifling attempt to counteract my raging verbosity. Shit, I’m blowing it already.

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Finder Library Volume 1.
When Carla Speed McNeil’s Finder: Voice came out this year, I became aware that I was missing out on something fantastic. It happens a lot. Never stops me from feeling shitty about myself, or from feeling surprised. Gasp! I missed something else? I’m a philistine, man. Anyways, this may be the place for me to start. Finder Library Volume 1 collects the first four Finder books. It’s a massive motherfucker. For $25, you can snag 616 pages of what is purportedly awesomeness. I’m being vague as fuck, I know. Caffeine interested! Caffeine want!

Want a premise? Boom!

The series is set in a vastly depopulated far-future Earth where numerous hunter-gatherer cultures, some human and some not, surround densely overpopulated domed city-states of recognizably modern urbanites functioning at a high technological level. Our own civilization and its considerably more advanced successors are lost to prehistory save for a few twentieth-century pop cultural artifacts conveniently recovered by well-paid psychics.

I’m sure it’s generalizing a lot. But when  Laura Hudson of Comics Alliance calls the series “one of the best comics ever“, I pay attention. Smarter minds with sharper opinions garner my intrigue.  Martyn Pedler also has an awesome interview with McNeil over at io9.

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Future Foundation #1.
I never thought I’d live in a universe where the most hotly awaited title of a week would be a Fantastic Four-based comic. Such is the power of Jonathan Hickman and Steve Epting. Fucking Hickman, man. Dude is a philosophical warrior, somehow managing to plot roughly a thousand arcs at once, while mixing in utilitarian philosophy, the Negative Zone, and outstanding emotional moments starring a dude who has been one-dimensional for god knows how many years – yeah, I’m still weeping over Johnny Storm.

This is the fucking title I want. I want it tomorrow. I want it now.

If you’re not down with the cosmos, the First Family of Marvel, or Sue Storm in a skin-tight minimalist costume, I don’t know. I respect your opinion, but I’m positively losing my cool over it.

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