The cover for this month’s Game Informer is out, and it proves one thing: chicks can be jacked freaks of nature too! Go post-apocalyptic equality! I’ve made my feelings on the Unreal Engine abundantly clear.
Multiple times. But I love it.
I can’t wait for Gears of War 3. It’s going to make my balls hurt with testosterone, and apparently estrogen fury.
Activision, who already owns the fucking gaming universe, just got more powerful. They’ve struck a deal with Bungie to publish their post-Halo games for the next ten years. G’damn!
via kotaku:
According to the official press release, “Under the terms of the agreement, Activision will have exclusive, worldwide rights to publish and distribute all future Bungie games based on the new intellectual property on multiple platforms and devices. Bungie remains an independent company and will continue to own their intellectual property.” From the sound of it, Activision gets to publishing rights to one IP on multiple platforms. This agreement certainly does not mean that Bungie is part of Activision.
It’s pretty fucking impressive. The company that has Guitar Hero, World of Warcraft, and Call of Duty just got fanboy faves into the their stable. You can lead anything with a fucking fuckload of fucking cash to uh, developmental water. Or something. It’s a pretty dope deal for Activision too, since Infinity Ward is all but eviscerated, and who the fuck knows what’s going to happen with the Modern Warfare splinter of the Call of Duty franchise.
Yo! EA Games and Visceral, I’m a big fan of Dead Space. Huge fan. One of my favorite games of the generation. So feel free to send me shit like this:
via destructoid:
Reader Brian Hackney gets some weird stuff in his mail. He just shot over to us some strange Dead Space 2 material that showed up in his real-life inbox the other day. The documents include notes from a doctor who seems to be taking care of someone who is undergoing transformation into a Necromorph, a Rorschach test and an envelope with a stain on it that resembles the silhouette of a man.
Sounds pretty fucking rad and creepy. The day I begin receiving mysterious viral packages from gaming companies is the day I’ll consider myself a success. Until then, feel free to mail me your video game accessories and pictures of Christina Hendricks.
Alright, there isn’t much super-violence in this trailer, but there clearly is an insane amount of dense-muscle fiber. I enjoy how they try to make the game so thematic and emotional, when I just want to be killing dudes with my fucking chainsaw gun.
It’s going to be righteous, though. When this drops I’m going to pop a viagra, snort a pixie stick or seven, and party the fuck out!
The XBOX 360′s USB Storage Update arrived today. Fucking yawn. I’m just going to reiterate what I’ve said before about this bullshit:
Wait, so you can only use flash drives, or your external hard drives can only be utilized for 16gb of their space? I wonder why.
Hard drives for the 360 are the biggest fucking rip-off going. For $120, you can get a 250gb hard drive. They’re fucking our wallets with thorny cocks. I got a 350gb hard drive for my PS3 for seventy-five dollars. And I’m sure they’re way cheaper now.
How about you douchebags at Microsoft stop raping our wallets and allow us to use the full scope of any external hard drives we may have? ‘Cause I have a 1 TB external hard drive that I paid a hundred bucks for, and that makes a lot more sense to me than getting raped by your proprietary bullshit, okay? I love your system, I already bought the 120gb hard drive like a fucking asshole, I pay for XBOX Live!, c’mon, do me a solid.
Seriously. I love my XBOX. I’m actually an XBOX fanboy. And yet, if you guys want to keep up with the PS3, dudes, you might want to go ahead and change a few things. Since you already don’t offer Blu-Ray, you may want to cut the proprietary bullshit.
Fucks.
Microsoft announced that they’re going to add support for USB flashdrives! Hey, that’s fucking fantastic! No, not really. My PS3 allowed me to do that like nineteen years ago. How about you let us use fucking external drives.
Via Kotaku
Starting April 6 Xbox 360 owners will be able to use USB flash drives to store profiles, game saves, demos and “more”, Microsoft confirmed this morning.Posting on his blog, Xbox Live’s Larry Hryb said that the company has been testing the feature for a few weeks and that he thinks it’s is “great.” A system updating hitting April 6 will allow us all to see just how great it is. The update will support flash drives that are 1 GB to to 16 GB in size. While USB hard drives “may work”, he adds, you will still only be able to use 16 GB of the drives spaces.
Wait, so you can only use flash drives, or your external hard drives can only be utilized for 16gb of their space? I wonder why.
Hard drives for the 360 are the biggest fucking rip-off going. For $120, you can get a 250gb hard drive. They’re fucking our wallets with thorny cocks. I got a 350gb hard drive for my PS3 for seventy-five dollars. And I’m sure they’re way cheaper now.
How about you douchebags at Microsoft stop raping our wallets and allow us to use the full scope of any external hard drives we may have? ‘Cause I have a 1 TB external hard drive that I paid a hundred bucks for, and that makes a lot more sense to me than getting raped by your proprietary bullshit, okay? I love your system, I already bought the 120gb hard drive like a fucking asshole, I pay for XBOX Live!, c’mon, do me a solid.
Oh you go ahead and brood, John Shepard. I’ve read what sort of shit becomes of you in the opening stages of Mass Effect 2. And thankfully, I’m going to be rocking out with you soon enough. How have you been since our last encounter? I’ve been seeing Mass Effect 2 commercials, and even though they suck, they’ve been whipping me up into a froth.
One fucking week until Mass Effect 2 comes out. Sludging through the original game again has got me excited, and not just for the story but also for the improvements. Like a lot of shit in life, including that chick you hooked up with in a drunken fury, Mass Effect pales significantly when you see her for a second time. Or a third time. But you keep lovin’ her, ’cause she got something special about her.
…Yeah, I have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about anymore.
I’m on a Diet Mountain Dew binge, writing up a fucking storm and hoping to get a chance to cap my characters in the first Mass Effect. There’s a sexy list of bonuses you get for importing that shit. I’m currently level 56, six days to go. Lords of Caffeine and Insomnia, don’t fail me now.
Bayonetta’s coming out on my birthday. Bayonetta’s coming out with a special edition. Bayonetta’s coming out on my birthday. Friends, family, brother, parents, girlfriend, thinly-tethered acquaintences, please, please, please, I’m not begging. But chip in and buy this collector’s edition for me for the 360. The picture displays the PS3 edition, but I assume it’ll get some Micro-love as well:
Via Destructoid:
The Bayonetta special edition will contain a soundtrack disc and a hardcover art book, all wrapped up in a spiffy slipcase. So far it’s been announced for the UK, Spain, France and Australia, and will release alongside a standard edition on January 8. Sega of America has not announced anything regarding a US special edition, but it’s safe to assume that such an announcement is likely.
Insert dreamy sigh.
Oh shit, chocobos have turned thirteen. And just like a teenager, chocobos have grown fucking huge, and sport amazing, cheesy mohawks. I fucking dig their new look. They’re goddamn enormous, they dwarf the baddies seen in this scan, and they cum in their pants while they sleep. I may have made that last part up. They actually cum in the hay in the barns they sleep in. Click the picture for the entire scan.
Ah, to write continuously without thinking much about the words you’re puking onto the inter-pagez. Occasionally you contradict yourself. A lot. I like to pretend that I’m not a slut for pre-order swag, or collector’s editions. But then one of my cum magnets – you know, movies, video games, or books that draws the semen from my penis like venom from a wound – shows me their super ballin’ fresh fly collector’s edition. And I jizm. Behold the MASS EFFECT 2 SUPAR COLLECTOR’S EDITION.
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